This Crazy, Beautiful Life

It's been a crazy, busy month here in our home! In the past month, I have taken 3 trips out-of-state, leaving my kids (except Avigail) for the first and second times. It has been challenging, but it has been good. Even my trip to Minnesota for my uncle's funeral was a good trip - getting to be there with my family for this difficult time was priceless.

Now that I'm home, we're working on getting back into a routine.  We've restarted school again after a 3-week break.  I'm so thankful that my home was kept in great shape (thanks especially to my wonderful mom-in-law!), but I'm trying to get caught up on the random chores that tend to get neglected when I'm busy.

And on top of all of that, I'm super tired because... I'm pregnant again!  Yep, we'll be welcoming another sweet little one to our family next May.

And I think this is where I want to go for this blog.  I've been trying to figure out what to blog about, because I have had so much on my mind lately that it's been hard to focus it all into a cohesive thought.  But I think that what the Lord has been teaching me has a lot of value, and hopefully you will be able to glean something from it as well.

Finding out that I was pregnant was not just surprising, but rather terrifying.  To be brutally honest, when I saw that second blue line, I sobbed and sobbed - body-racking, uncontrollable sobs.  When I was finally able to stop, it wasn't for long - I cried many times during that first day.

See, way back when Mark and I first had Eliza, we wanted to have five children.  And that has been the case ever since.  But when I was pregnant with Avigail, Mark told me that he was thinking that he really wanted to be done having children with four.  I told him that if the baby was born a girl, I would probably be okay with that, but if it was a boy, I'd want to try again for a girl.  :-)  He sorta-agreed with me, and we left it at that.  It was still very stressful for me.  I didn't feel done having children, didn't feel complete, didn't feel ready to end that season of my life.  Then Avigail was born, and the talks began again.  I actually struggled a lot with depression because of it. Even though I was sorta-okay with the idea, it was like a part of me would have to die.  But I love my husband, and I totally understand that he's exhausted with parenting young children and ready to move on to the next season of life.  And over the next year, I finally came to a place where I agreed with him.  I was ready to move on.  While I knew I'd miss getting to have another baby, I also knew that I'd always wonder what it would be like to have just one more!

Anyway, back to my story.  So, I'd wrestled with all sorts of emotions over the past year in coming to a point where I was excited about being done having children and being ready to move beyond diapers and sleepless nights.  And no sooner had that happened (and we'd decided to take the next step towards that), than this happened.  It was as if God was answering us with a firm "No."  I didn't understand it.  Why?  Why had God caused me to get pregnant when I shouldn't have been able to?  Why didn't He listen to my exhausted husband's heart's desire?  Why did He wait for me to finally come to grips with not having any children, just to yank the rug out from under me with this shocking news?  And why did He pick me (again) instead of one of those couples who can't have children and want so desperately to??  I was angry, hurt, sad, frustrated.  I felt so lost, and walked around all day in a daze.  I called my best friend, my mom, and my mom-in-law - all in tears.  It was a hard, long day.

But in the back of my mind, I knew that I really didn't have an option.  I really didn't have a right to question God, a right to argue with His infinite wisdom and power.  So I had my day-long pity party, and went to bed an emotional mess.

The next morning, I came downstairs for my quiet time.  Thankfully I was up before the kids were, so my quiet time was actually quiet.  Ahh..  I opened up my gratitude journal, as is my habit first thing.  But I couldn't think of a single thing to be thankful for.  My heart was hurting and raw.  I began to cry again.  I sat there on the couch, talking my thoughts out to the Lord.

"Why, God?  I don't understand!"
"I'm SO tired, so very tired."
"Why did you let me finally get to be okay with being done and then put this on me?"
"I can't do this again!"  

And one by one, the Father answered me with His calm, sure words.

"Yes, Judy, you can do it."
"You have learned so much through each of your children, but I have more that I still want to teach you."
"I want you to trust Me.  Trust that I know best.  Trust that I will give you the strength you need."
"You will come out of this stronger, and better equipped for the life I have for you, but you have to trust Me."

As I began to let go of my own worries, He filled me with peace - and even a bit of joy!  I'm not saying there aren't times when I still struggle.  It's been 4 weeks already since I found out, and I'm still not always very joyful about it.  But if I keep my eyes on my Creator, He helps me see the joy and the blessing.  Remember this post? (You Are Joy)  This was my heart's meditation that day, and it still is now. God IS Joy - He IS Peace - He IS Love.  And His ways - they are perfect.

Four Months of Grace, Thanks, Joy

"I run my fingers across the pages of the book. I read it slowly. In the original language, 'He gave thanks' reads 'eucharisteo.' I underline it on the page. The root word of eucharisteo is charis, meaning 'grace.' Jesus took the bread and saw it as grace and gave thanks. He took the bread and knew it to be gift and gave thanks.

But there is more.  Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, also holds the Greek word chara, meaning 'joy.' I breathe deep, like a sojourner finally coming home. That has always been the goal of the fullest life - joy."     ~Ann Voskamp, Selections From One Thousand Gifts

Two years ago I read a book that moved me deeply.  "One Thousand Gifts", by Ann Voskamp, challenged me to see my life through the constant lens of thankfulness and grace.  I started a gratitude journal - a list of thanks, of blessing, of grace.  It is a discipline, this learning to see grace in all things.  But it has deepened my walk with the Lord and helped me to see through His eyes so much more.  It has brought me more patience, more understanding, more joy.

It has been four months now since we moved to Idaho.  There has never been a doubt in my mind that this is where God wants us to be, yet there are times that it has been very hard.  Settling into a new home is a long process, especially when that includes starting over in the area of relationships.  But we have been blessed to meet some great people and are excited about what the future holds for our family.

As we hit our 4-month anniversary in our new home, I also reached 500 in my gratitude journal.  It's a big mark for me, and as I reached it I took some time to look back and read many of my entries over the past several months.  I was struck by how many of my thanks would not have been possible without the Lord bringing us here.

193. all of our friends who helped us move - working so hard, long, and selflessly
196. laying-on of hands and prayers from cherished friends
199. the sweet surprise of a beautiful drive to get to our new home
200. our new home - beautiful - and on the outskirts of town, in a beautiful setting off a country highway
213. grandparents living close
237. the homeschool freedom we enjoy in Idaho
250. horses down the street, in pastures of wildflowers
257. our first time enjoying our neighborhood pool
274. two generations of brothers, throwing footballs in the backyard
280. joy-filled days spent at the grandparents' house
285. the freedom, space, and safety we enjoy in our new home
294. summer days!
296. family time at the pool
298. mountains in the distance, decorating the horizon
299. grandparents, close enough to babysit
300. renewed vision for the future, with God's calling at the center!

I know that big changes can be so scary.  Even when you know that God is speaking, taking that big step of faith is so hard, so unsettling at times.  We doubt, we wonder, we can't see the future, and it is so, so hard!  But as I'm learning and growing, the Lord is good - always good - only good - and He knows the beginning from the end.  He knows the plans He has for us.  He knows the desires of our hearts.  And His plans for us are bigger than our own!  But in order to get to that place of being used, we must trust.  We must choose to take joy and offer thanks even when it is hard.  It is a discipline, but one with amazing payoff.

311. evening family walks around our neighborhood
367. family time to explore our new town
393. clarity, given by God, about His purposes
396. sunny days - now the norm
399. grandparents around for birthday celebrations
429. making new friends!
440. the sun, red at sunrise and sunset from all the smoke - beauty from the ugly
448. blue sky again after so many days of smoke-haze
458. Avigail's love for the outdoors, and how easy it is for her to access it
480. three kids in a row, all on scooters
501. the multitude of birds in the tree next door, all chirping together in the morning
507. my children's growing comfort in the water
509. the park behind our house
510. a summer of children riding bikes and scooters to their hearts' content

If you've never done it (or if you're just struggling with faith or joy), I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal.  It will bless you, because it will bring you closer to the One who gives blessing. 

~Judy

Cultivating a Peaceful, Purposeful Home

Home management is something really important to me. I'm pretty sure I would have completely lost my mind by this point if I wouldn't have picked up these tips along the way.  I originally prepared this material for a La Leche League enrichment meeting, knowing how valuable this sort of advice can be, especially for new moms.  I thought I'd share it here in hopes that it will helps some of you!  Enjoy!

Areas of Home Management:

1. Time - Family Activities, Time Spent Together, and Daily Routine

Managing time is the first major aspect of home management that every mom must learn how to do.  There are so many things that we need to fit into each day or week! Developing a method of managing your time is so important. 

Here are a few ideas:

• Create a family calendar (either physical or digital, whichever works best for you), and use it regularly!  Check it every night before going to bed and look it over at the beginning of each week.  Make sure you and your spouse do this together so that you are on the same page about your schedule.
• Create a written routine.  Or a lot of them!  I have a loose daily routine, a weekly cleaning routine, and a list of extra cleaning jobs that aren't weekly.
• Use a timer to help manage your time in chunks.  If you're like me, you may get carried away with one thing, allowing it to take up way too much time.  Or you may feel overwhelmed with a large project, and breaking it into pieces makes if feel lighter.  Egg timers (or your microwave timer) can be so helpful in many cases!
• Incorporate your kids input into your routine.  Allow them to help design your routine, and keep them posted as to what is going on that day and week. (See This Post)
• Assemble a home management binder.  I started doing this a year ago and love it!  It keeps all of my stuff together - calendar, finances, meal planning, routines, projects, etc.  Type in "home management binder" into Google and you'll get all sorts of great ideas!

2. Food - Meal Planning, Grocery Shopping, and Cooking

I tend to go through seasons in my meal planning and cooking life.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it.  Sometimes I'm a rock star about planning everything out and never forgetting anything, sometimes I go for a week or two on last-minute throw-togethers ("Is spaghetti okay again, guys?")

Here are a few things that help me:

• Have a weekly meal routine.  Each day is assigned a different "genre" of food - for example: soup/bread day, pasta day, rice day, meal salad day, etc..  This takes so much out of the guesswork of creating a meal plan and helps you to incorporate new ideas easily.
• Keep a list of favorite meals that your family enjoys (with page #s to recipes), that way you can quickly make your list rather than thumbing through your shelf full of cookbooks every week.
• Take advantage of your freezer and slow cooker.  I make certain things in bulk (marinara sauce, marinated meat, ice cream... wait, ice cream doesn't count?!), that way when a day goes differently than I planned, I can throw a freezer bag into a bowl of hot water and thaw it in no time.  And I love my slow cooker (or my cast iron dutch oven) for fall and winter days.  Mmmm...
• Try seasonal eating!  By varying your menu by the season, you will enjoy a variety of foods every year, and not get tired of the same thing over and over.  Certain foods just taste better in their proper season, and bonus - you will save money at the store by buying your food in season!

3. Cleaning - Home, Car, Closets, Purse, etc...

As a mom with 4 young kids who I also homeschool, our home is never spotless.  But, I can also honestly say that if I stay on it, I am able to keep our home regularly clean.  Everyone has different solutions that work well for them, so take what works here and leave the rest!

Ideas to help keep your home clean:

• Get rid of clutter!  Seriously, I think I could (and probably will!) write a whole blog or several about decluttering and keeping a simple home.  For now, I will simply say that the less stuff you have, the less you have to keep clean. 
• Take the time to organize.  Another topic I could talk about for hours.  I'm actually one of those nerdy types that loves organizing, but even if you aren't, I still strongly recommend you give it a try, at least for your most hectic spaces.  Keep it simple, and easy to maintain.
• Have a daily cleaning task that stays the same each week.  For example: Monday is laundry, Tuesday is vacuuming, Wednesday is kitchen thorough-cleaning, Thursday is the car/garage, Friday is laundry again.  Something like that, anyway!
• Do a 15-20 minute "sweep" of your home every day.  We do this in the early evening before Mark gets home from work, and I get the kids involved too.  We usually pump up some Newsboys and make it fun.  
• Teach your kids to take some responsibility for their own stuff.  Help them remember to clean up one activity before taking out another.  Teach them to take care of their own laundry and make their beds.  

4. Self Care - Mom must care for herself in order to be able to care for others!

This is such a big deal in our home!  It's easy to spend every moment of the day cleaning and cooking and maintaining - there's always another thing to do, isn't there?!  But if we don't take good care of ourselves, in the end it will all crumble apart.  We serve our children and husband by taking good care of ourselves.

For me, as a major introvert, I get overwhelmed easily by the constant needs and company of my little brood.  The most vital part of my self care is making sure that I get adequate time alone.  But it has taken me a long time to realize just how important this is and learn how to make it a priority.

Here are some other ideas of ways to take care of yourself.  This post (click here) also has a few ideas on hitting the "reset button" on a rough week.

• Develop a morning ritual.  Mine is tea, my gratitude journal, my Bible, and a book (for personal/spiritual growth, not entertainment).  Yours can be whatever helps you most.
• Exercise.  Make sure you don't care for everyone else while neglecting your own body.  This will eventually catch up with you!
• Eat well.  I know, we all fall into the habit of eating whatever we can scrape together in the middle of everything else we're doing.  But with just a bit of planning, you can feed your body what it needs to thrive instead of simply exist.
• Get out!  Go to a mom's night out or even playgroups where the moms can hang out while the kids play.  Both are valuable. Try to go on a date with your husband on a regular basis.  Have tea with a friend at night after the little ones have gone to sleep.  Get up early and hit up a nearby coffee shop before your family arises. 

I hope this post helps you!  Below are a list of links to resources that have really helped me.  I hope they help you as well!  Please leave a comment with any great tips that have helped you to better manage your home!

~ Judy

---

Resource List:

Websites:

http://zenhabits.net

http://organizedhome.com

http://simplemom.net

Books:

Smart Organizing, by Sandra Felton

Organized Simplicity, by Tsh Oxenreider

Binder Helps:

http://simplemom.net/downloads/

http://organizedhome.com/household-notebook

On the Doorposts

Yesterday morning, our family put up our mezuzah. We have had a mezuzah on our front door for several years now, and while I'm used to seeing it, it's impact on me has never faded.

The mezuzah is a small, thin case that holds a tiny scroll of scripture with two passages written on it - Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21. These passages contain the Shema and the verses giving the command for writing/affixing God's Word to our doorposts.

Although we are not Jewish, we chose to keep this commandment out of love for the Lord and respect for His Word. It functions, not as some kind of "amulet", but as a constant reminder of the role of God's Word in our home and lives. When we enter our home, we see the mezuzah, and remember that God reigns in our home and that His Word is above all. We often touch the mezuzah and bring our fingers to our lips, worshipping not the object, but the Creator whose holy Words are written within.
 

Whether or not you choose to affix a mezuzah to your doorposts, I challenge you to find a way to bring honor and attention to the authority of God's Word in your home.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

-Matthew 7:24-27

May we be those who build our homes on the solid foundation of God's Word!

- Judy

Attachment Parenting... and the Bible, Part 1

Today I am going to start an 8-part series on attachment parenting and the Bible. I haven't directly referenced attachment parenting on this blog before now, partly because I don't want it to be the focus of this blog, and partly because I don't like labeling myself as one "type" of parent.  But, nonetheless, attachment-style parenting is really important to me. It has laid a strong loving and godly foundation for our family.

"Wait, godly?" You might be wondering about that claim. Attachment parenting has a reputation for being humanistic and indulgent, not at all things that the Bible supports. But while AP can be applied that way, it isn't that by nature. In fact, the "founder" of attachment parenting, Dr. William Sears, is a Christian father of 8. His books established AP as a legitimate, fact-based parenting method and offered parents some practical ideas for what that meant.  Since then, much more research and many more books have been written about the subject, and an international organization, Attachment Parenting International, has been formed.

In this series, I am going to go through each of Attachment Parenting International's 8 Principles of Parenting and present some biblical support for each, as well as share some of our story. I hope this is a blessing to you!

Principle #1: Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

"Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for healthcare providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible."

There is so much wisdom in this principle. Scripture has a lot to say about gaining understanding, in fact, most of the book of Proverbs is dedicated to the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge.

"Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance."
                                    - Proverbs 1:5

I believe that an important part of being a good steward is educating yourself about what you are stewarding. Remember the parable of the talents? The man who was praised for making more money with his talent needed to first know how to best invest that talent in order for that to happen. We are entrusted with something far more valuable than money - we are entrusted with life! How much more, then, should we study and learn!

God has given us 9 months to prepare for our new babies, and I would challenge you to make the most of that time. Learn about birth options. Learn about infant development. Learn about breastfeeding. And discuss things with your spouse too - learning together is a great way to strengthen your relationship!

For me, this part has always been pretty easy. I'm already a bookworm, and I love learning about babies! But it has been so beneficial for me, especially in the areas of natural birth and infant development. We decided to have unmedicated home births after reading about the dangers and ramifications of managed, hospital births. Learning all we could gave us peace of mind and faith in the body that God has given me.  And learning about infant and child development has helped us to have realistic expectations of what our children are capable of and how their brains best develop.

When studying these things, especially development, you will probably come across books written from a secular worldview.  One of my favorite books is called "The Science of Parenting", and is written from an evolutionary viewpoint.  From what I've seen, sometimes Christians write off these kind of books as non-relevant because they come from a different worldview.  But while we do have to read with more caution, there is usually a huge depth of information in those books - just without the knowledge of God.  Part of being mature as believers means being able to sift through these materials and gain valuable knowledge while skipping over the stuff that doesn't fit your worldview.


I hope that you found this post to be thought-provoking and interesting!  Stay tuned for Part 2: Feed With Love & Respect!

~ Judy

*For a practical list of things to prepare for and read about when getting ready for a baby, please click here: API Principle #1.

My Baby is One!

Watermelon instead of cake for this baby!

Yesterday, my baby girl turned one year old. It is a bittersweet day for me. I am so ecstatically happy that the Lord gave us Avigail - she is such a gift! Her sweet smile and gentle snuggles melt our hearts. Her love for her siblings brings a smile to my face on a constant basis. But her first year has completely flown by, and I am struggling to come to grips with that.  I am finding myself clinging desperately to her babyhood, wishing I could slow time.

She just realized that we're singing to HER!

As parents to small children, it can be very overwhelming at times.  Their needs are intense, and there are so many of them!  Mark and I have often caught ourselves lamenting our lack of freedom, and looking forward (maybe too much) to the days when our children will be able to take care of themselves a bit more.  It has become difficult to appreciate this stage of life for what it is.  But is the problem really the crazy intensity that is our life?  Or is the problem our attitude about it?

She loves it!

- - -

Over the past few months, as we have settled in here and I have had more time to ponder our home and family life, there are some things about this stage that the Lord has really pressed upon me.

First of all, I need to accept each day for what it is, and consider it a blessing.  Every single day, I start my day by writing a few entries into my gratitude journal. By starting out this way, I have found it easier to return to it when I'm struggling later on.  There is so much power in thankfulness!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" - I Thessalonians 5:18

Second, I need to have realistic expectations for my children.  They are supposed to act like young children - that is what they are!  If the Lord wanted kids to be born mature, He would've created them that way.  But instead, He gives them to us completely dependent - dependent on us to help them walk through the stages of life, to grow and develop.

Third, I need to remember that our children are like plants in a garden - given the right environment, they will grow.  My job is not to try to force growth and maturity on my kids, my job is to foster an environment where growth is encouraged.  That means that I have to be a mature person, and model those character traits that I'd like to see developed in my children.  Of course, those things that they struggle with so much also tend to be the same things that I struggle with, making this step so hard but so necessary!

Lastly, I need to remember that God has given me children to bring me closer to Him.  These daily struggles that I have with how I choose to approach my relationship with my children have the power to deeply change me.  I have blogged about this a bit before (click), but it's such a powerful truth to embrace that I want to mention it again today.  Through our relationships with our children, the Lord can work through sin and struggles in our own lives, bringing us into a closer relationship with Him!

- - -

So, as I embark on my baby's second year of life, it is with a renewed conviction and determination to embrace life as it happens!  I want to soak in every moment of her remaining baby/toddlerhood (ouch, it hurts to see that word "toddler" on the page!), and not just for her, but for each of my children. I want to cherish my children, to enjoy them, to truly love them in a deep way - thankful for the blessings that they are in my life!

With you on the journey,
~ Judy

Getting Through the Dry Times

Internet has a funny way of altering reality, doesn't it?  I enjoy the outlets of social media such as Facebook and blogging, especially now that we've moved and I'm physically away from most of my friends.  It's great being able to stay connected online. But we all have a tendency to present only the best part of ourselves online, don't we?  It's really not reality.  I mean, when is the last time one of your friends posted a photo of their child throwing a tantrum, or of herself crying at the end of a hard day?  This whitewashed view of people's lives around us can cause us to judge our own lives wrongly, and can make us feel inadequate and incapable.  And I am not immune.

This morning, after my quiet time, I sat on the couch trying to figure out what to blog about.  I've been quiet on my blog for a week or so now, and for the past few days I've been thinking about different ideas that I've had for possible posts.  I even posted about my dilemma on Facebook.  And a dear friend gave me some great advice: Just be real.  This morning, as I was pondering my different blog ideas and my friend's advice, I realized that to blog about any other than what I'm about to write would not be real.  So here it goes!

As I was saying, I am not immune to the nuances of internet communication.  I both struggle with judging myself based on other people's cute haircuts, happy kid pictures, and awesome dinners, as well as the temptation to always present myself as put-together, with a happy family.  So today, I want to share about my week - my real week.

Things have been kind of challenging this week, and many evenings I wanted nothing more than to get into Mark's car and drive away for a long time.  We have struggled with a nasty cycle - you know, the one where your children have had a rough week, which makes you feel inadequate and cranky, which makes them feel & behave worse!  Yeah, that's been our week.  For some reason, my 6-year-old, who is normally mature and able to reason very well for her age, has been struggling with a lot of anger and has had several tantrums - one of which was in the grocery store.  Ugh.  My boys have been fighting and hitting/pinching a lot.  And my babe is cutting 4 teeth, and hasn't been sleeping well, leaving both of us extra tired all day long.

And as a result of this, I have been feeling very overwhelmed and inadequate.  I'm having a hard time connecting with them (and therefore not able to give them what they really need to work through these issues).  I've been testy with my dear husband.  It's just been an "Ugh" week that I've been looking forward to seeing the end of.  So, here I am at the end of it.  I'm very thankful for a husband who understands my need for alone time, and has graciously given me an hour this morning to read, pray, think, and hopefully reset.

Now that I've done that, I can honestly say that I feel a lot better, a lot more capable of being the mother that I want and my children need me to be.  I'm giving myself some grace, replenishing my cup with God's word and the encouraging words of a great author, drinking a yummy cup of tea, and taking a deep breath.  My job as a mommy is the highest calling I have.  HaShem has entrusted me with these 4 little lives, and He chose me to be their mother!

Maybe you've had a week like mine, and can relate.  I want to wrap up this post by listing out some things that I can think of to help you in your attempt to reset:

• Give yourself some grace. Remember that ups and downs are normal and even beneficial.  Those down times can teach us a lot too!

• Be thankful.  Keeping a gratitude journal has really helped my maintain a healthy focus and perspective.  I highly recommend it!

• Take some time out.  Go out to coffee by yourself or with a good friend.  Go for a walk/drive.  

• Talk to God.  Be real with Him about how you feel and your thoughts.  He knows them anyway and it can feel really good to voice them!

• Enjoy something beautiful.  Music, art, and poetry have a powerful way of working in us.  You may enjoy creating something as well.

• Find some alone time with each of your children and talk to them.  Apologize.  Apologies are powerful for restoring relationships, and it sets a godly example. Encourage them with things you appreciate about them, and how God wants to see them grow and develop.  

• Go on a date with your husband, and talk things through with him.  Sometimes husbands can be a great source of encouragement and healthy perspective.

• Do something physical.  Sometimes we need to release stress in a physical way, whether that be going for a run, doing some gardening, or lifting weights.

Do you have another way that you reset from a hard week?  Share in the comments!  And now, I'm off to nurse my teething babe!

~ Judy

A Little Challenge for Today

A short but intensely-powerful challenge for you today:

I like to read inspiring and challenging book as part of my quiet time every morning.  Currently I am re-reading "The Mission of Motherhood" in preparation for the MomHeart group I hope to be starting up soon.  I read chapter three today, entitled "The Undivided Heart," and was reminded of something very important.

When we are mothering our children, we are not only serving them, but we are serving Yeshua!  By being gentle to my children, by being compassionate and empathetic to their needs, and by being present with them throughout their daily trials, I am serving my Lord. At the same time, I am setting an example to them of how the Lord wants us to treat each other, and demonstrating His love for us!  What a powerful act of service!

~ Judy

Getting Started in Homeschooling - A Few Thoughts

I have had a few moms lately who have asked me for advise in getting started homeschooling, so I figured it would make a good blog post.  :-)  So, I'm going to share some of my thoughts with you, and hopefully you'll find this encouraging and informational!  *Disclaimer: I'm mostly speaking from the perspective of a mom who has decided early on to homeschool, and I don't have experience pulling kids out of public school later on.  That adjustment can be a very different experience entirely.*

Homeschooling has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember!  I was blessed to be homeschooled myself from kindergarten through high school graduation (except for a one-year stint in public school).  Some of my earliest memories are reading with my mom and little brothers.  Although there were times I felt very "different" than the neighbour kids, I knew that I was blessed to be home!  And as I grew older, I knew that homeschooling my kids was a non-negotiable.  I was very happy when Mark shared my conviction fully.  Anyway, as a homeschooled kid, and now a homeschooling mama, I think I can share with you a fairly well-rounded perspective on something that I'm pretty passionate about!

First things first - making the decision!  So here's the deal - as valuable and awesome as homeschooling is, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is a big huge decision that you need to spend weeks and months agonizing over.  Because, in most cases, it's just not that big of a deal!  We moms have a tendency to over-think everything - from whether or not we mash up our baby's food to how often we brush our kids' teeth.  Are you interested in homeschooling?  Is your spouse on board?  Then give it a try!  Especially in the early years, you really don't have much - if anything - to lose!  And that leads me right into my next thought...

Commit to taking things a year (and day) at a time!  For many moms, committing to a life of homeschooling is a completely overwhelming thought!  They start pondering things like "How do I teach calculus/chemistry/physics?" "How will I my kids learn music or speech/debate (or those other things that require classmates)?"  Here's the thing - starting homeschooling early on with one child (or even two) is something you ease into.  Homeschooling kindergarten (and other early grades) is a totally different ball game than high school.  And the confidence you will get from teaching your children through elementary school will help see you through the harder parts of high school (which, btw, is totally do-able as well, but that's another post for a later day!).

So, those things said, I'm going to dive into some specifics.  This relates mostly to the early elementary years, since that is where we are right now.

Education Style

One of the first things you'll want to figure out is your education style.  There are many terms that refer to various styles ranging from very structured to very relaxed.  Here are a few of the most commonly used:

     Unschooling - Unschooling refers to any non-structured learning approach that allows children to pursue their own interests with parental support and guidance and lets children learn by being included in the life of adults.
     Montessori / Waldorf - Montessori and Waldorf recognize and respect a child's need for rhythm and order in his daily routine. They recognize that need in different ways. Take toys, for example. Montessori schools use Montessori designed and approved toys which will teach them concepts.  A Waldorf education encourages the child to create his own toys from materials which happen to be at hand. Using the imagination is the child's most important 'work'.
     Living Books / Charlotte Mason - One begins by teaching basic reading, writing and math skills, then exposing children to the best sources of knowledge for all other subjects, taking nature walks, observing wildlife, visiting museums and reading real books for subjects such as geography, history and literature.
     Unit Studies - A unit study involves taking a theme or topic and delving into it deeply over a period of time, integrating language arts, science, social studies, math and fine arts as they apply. All subjects are blended together and studied around a common theme or project.
     Classical - Classical education depends on a three-part process of training the mind. The early years of school are spent in absorbing facts, systematically laying the foundations for advanced study. In the middle grades, students learn to think through arguments. In the high school years, they learn to express themselves. This classical pattern is called the trivium.
    All-inclusive Curriculum - Textbook curricula have graded textbooks in each subject and follow a scope and sequence that covers each subject in daily increments for a 12-year, 180-days-a-year academic program.

I have found this website: http://www.homeschoolreviews.com to be a priceless resource for learning about different curricula!

I'm not going to tell you which approach I think is *best*, because that really depends primarily on you and your children!  If you and your kids need more structure, do that; if you do better on more freedom, do that!  Don't let anyone else make you feel inferior because you take a different approach than they do.  And again, don't forget that homeschooling is a constantly-changing, fluid part of a relationship you have with your children, and as such, don't be afraid to adjust it with your kids as you go about your studies!

But to get started out, pick an approach that you feel best reflects your style and goals for the next school year, and go from there, okay?  :-D

Our Approach - What Works For Us

Okay, so all that said, I know that some people may wonder what we use, and why, so I will share that too!

First, some quick background.  We have two kids who will be in school this next year - Eliza and Judah.  Eliza will be 6 1/2, and in first grade.  Judah will be 5 and in kindergarten.  But although they are only one grade apart from each other, academically they are very different!  Eliza learned to read before she turned 4, and now reads around a 4th grade reading level.  She does 2nd grade math and writes well, and has a pretty long attention span.  Judah has a much shorter attention span and is just starting to learn phonics and numbers.  That said, I am still trying to keep them together for as many subjects as possible, for the sake of family togetherness and my own sanity!  :-)

So, here's my take on the early years of homeschooling:  The goal for the first 2-3 years is to establish a love for learning and a foundation to build upon for the rest of the child's school career.  By nature, this has to be very individualized, because that works out differently for each child.  For Eliza, that meant that I had to be careful not to hold her back, and to keep things interesting.  Last year (kindergarten), we had to completely change gears after the first trimester because neither of us were enjoying ourselves!  For Judah, this means that I have to be careful not to push him too hard or put my experiences with Eliza onto him, because he is a totally different person with his own needs and personality.

Our approach is rather "eclectic" - I have realized that although I love the ideas behind the less-structured methods, I need more structure than that myself, especially having four kids.  But I can't have too much either, or I drive myself nuts!  So I have to find a happy balance, which is sometimes challenging!  I lean mostly towards the "living books" approach, using the library a ton.  For Eliza, with her level of reading where it is, we have chosen to do American Girl studies for kindergarten and 1st grade.  We spend 6 weeks with each historical character, reading through the 6 books as well as the "Welcome to *A.Girl*'s World" book that AG published.  We make lapbooks for each girl, which is how much of her writing practice happens.  Through this, we cover reading, writing, history, culture, and art.  For science, we just use the library for topics they choose (this will change in 2nd grade).  For math, I love the Singapore Primary Mathmatics series!  Eliza really likes them too, and is learning a lot.  She's currently in the middle of 2nd grade for math.  For Judah, kindergarten will be mostly phonics and math, with read-alouds for other topics (the world around us) of his interest.  He'll use Singapore Math as well, and we were given the K12 Phonicsworks program which we like.  (I've heard really good things about Explode the Code as well, but K12 is all I've used)  Like I said before, kindergarten is kind of a "warm-up" year - with the biggest goal to establish a foundation and love of learning, so all that really matters to me is that he makes progress in reading and math, and that he enjoys learning about whatever else he's interested in!

Subjects We Study:
     Kindergarten - character/Bible, phonics/reading,  intro writing, math, the world around us (nature & culture), art/music
     1st Grade - character/Bible, phonics/reading, writing, math, nature & culture, art/music

*As a side note, for preschool, I love this guide from SimplyCharlotteMason.com: http://simplycharlottemason.com/planning/eyguide/  Although I didn't follow it exactly, I think it lays a great foundation to build off of!

Getting Started

So, if you're just getting started, here's what I recommend.  Read about different approaches to home education, and discuss them with your spouse.  Get an idea of what you think will work for you and your family.  Research the curriculum options for the basic topics and pick something to get started with.  Don't go overboard!  Then, a few months into your first year, take a really honest assessment.  Are your kids learning?  Are they enjoying learning?  Are you enjoying teaching?  Is there anything that needs to be adjusted?  Readjust, and continue.  Take it a day at at time, a week at a time, a month at a time, and always be open to changing and adjusting.  The journey can be challenging at times, but it is so worth it!

~ Judy

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Our Future Plans

As a major planner, I am actually a total nerd about researching homeschooling curriculum and ideas, and as such, I've drafted out my plans for the rest of our homeschooling career!  So, in case you were curious, here's what's been floating around in my mind. (And if the idea of planning this far out totally freaks out out, please feel free to skip it - I won't be hurt!)


2nd - 6th Grade - the subjects above shift into character/Bible, language arts (grammar, writing, spelling, vocab, reading), math, science, history, geography, art, music, foreign language intro.  My plan for the elementary years is to work chronologically through history using Truthquest History (a Christian history curriculum, but there are great secular ones as well), and incorporate our language arts studies into history like we are now with the American Girl studies, as well as art and music history.  We'll continue using Singapore Math through 6th grade-level unless it no longer meets our needs.  We'll be using Apologia science (also Christian/creationist) which also uses the holistic Charlotte Mason approach.

7th - 12th Grade - literature, math, science, social studies, foreign language, electives of choice.  My plan for the secondary years is to work chronologically through history again using Truthquest History and incorporate literature, art and music history.  We'll probably switch to Teaching Textbooks for math, which I've heard is the best homeschool math program around, and since math is *not* my strong point, I need a curriculum that will teach my kids for me.  (Maybe I'll go through it with them, lol!)  We'll continue using Apologia science for middle/high school, and probably Rosetta Stone for foreign language. **I will also have them studying at a deep enough level to take CLEP test to earn concurrent college credit as we go through the relating topics in 9th-12th grades.  Our goal is for our kids to have at least their associates, but hopefully bachelor's degree by the time they graduate.**

What Does Routine With Kids Look Like?

In my last blog, I wrote about how I'm focusing on 4 priorities in our lives right now.  They are:

  1.  Foster an environment for our family that is God-centered, peaceful, and joyful.
  2.  Develop and implement a routine for myself and our children, and support Mark in his own routine.
  3.  Develop local relationships!
  4.  Finish my associate's degree
 
 Today I want to chat about #2 - Routine.

I believe routine is critically important raising kids!  Without a semi-predictable routine, it's very hard for kids to feel settled.  I mean, if you think about it, we have access to our calendars, we make the plans, and we know every day what is planned for the next day.  For the most part, we are in charge of our lives and our kids just do whatever is on the docket for each day.  When the day's plans change frequently, or when every day is different than the one before, it is very hard for kids to feel like they have any kind of control over their lives.

When planning out a routine for children, there are a few key things that I think are important to keep in mind.  First of all, the routine should be simple and age-appropriate!  If I tried to get my kids to stick to a complicated routine that involved a lot of things that they can't do yet, the routine will fail.  Second, a routine should be flexible.  Clinging to tight to a ridged routine will make everybody stressed and trapped. On the flip side, having a healthy structure will feel freeing (just like a good budget, but that's another post!).  Last, a routine should be easy for children to understand.  The more simple the routine, the easier it will be to understand, but it can also be conveyed in ways that help kids understand (for example, with pictures instead of words for non-readers and as few words as possible).

If you're feeling inspired to work on a routine for your children, here are some examples of some ways we've incorporated routines in the past.

 This was the first routine chart we made with Eliza when she was 2 1/2! We took photos of her doing each of these things, printed/laminated it, and kept it on the refrigerator. She loved it!

 

I made this one to help Eliza and Judah become more independent with their bedtime routine.  They can flip each card over when they're done, which is fun!

 

This is Eliza's waking routine.  I give her a new one each week and she checks off each thing as she completes it.  Pretty basic, but she likes the step of checking things off.  :-)

 

I just made this yesterday, and I'm pretty excited about it!  It helps teach the kids the days of the week and rhythm of the days, as well as gives them an idea of what to expect that week. Thanks to my friend Jenn for the idea!

Lastly, this is the new routine that the kids and I wrote up (planning on doing a pictorial chart on the wall):

- Wake up, get ready (Eliza's waking routine, boys just get dressed)

- Breakfast together

- Devotions with kids (mine are done before breakfast)

- School time with Eliza (both kids in the fall)

- Playtime

- Lunch together 

- Naps for Caleb & Avigail

- School time (if more time is needed to finish)

- Playtime

- Dinner together

- Family time (we're trying to do walks/bike rides in the summer)

- Bedtime routine & Bedtime

Is establishing routine hard for you?  Easy?  What kinds of things do you incorporate into your routine?

Have a wonderful weekend!

~ Judy

Uncomplicating My Life a Bit

After a wonderful date with my beloved hubby last night, I took some time to re-assess my priorities.  I tend to over-complicate my life with massive to-do lists, projects that I take on without considering the ramifications, and unrealistic expectations for myself and others around me.

So I decided to figure out what my top priorities are right now, and put the rest in a "closet" for the time being.  Here's what I've come up with:

Top Priorities:

  1.  Foster an environment for our family that is God-centered, peaceful, and joyful.

I'm going to do this by praying with my children daily, focusing on maintaining a right attitude in myself throughout the day, and modelling godliness for my children.

  2.  Develop and implement a routine for myself and our children, and support Mark in his own routine.

To do this, I'm going to create a routine chart for my kids (and stick by it!).  Major focuses will be our start-of-the-day routines, focusing on school when we're doing it, and getting to bed on time.

  3.  Develop local relationships!

This might be challenging (especially for my introverted self), but we're going to do our best to reach out and meet people.  I will hopefully be able to get our Mom Heart group started up soon (if you live locally, please contact me if your interested!), and we will be starting a weekly HaYesod group to study the foundations of the Christian faith on September 8th (again, if you're interested, let me know!).  I'm also going to connect with a local homeschooling group as well as La Leche League.

  4.  Finish my associate's degree

I will be taking CLEP tests in US History, Sociology, and Human Growth/Development over the next couple of months, as well as probably enrolling for a science course at BSU.  I'm planning to graduate in May 2013.

I think the hardest thing about all of this is all of the things that I have to put away in the "closet" for the time being.  I have so many goals that I am working towards that I need to set aside in order to make this happen.  It's so hard to admit to myself that I can't do everything, but I know that it is for the best.  Hopefully in a few months, I will be able to dig a few of those long-term goals out of the closet again and tell you about them!

~ Judy

Home-Churching & Leadership

Although my blogging has slowed down a bit lately, our lives sure haven't! We have had a wonderful summer so far - filled with gorgeous sunny days spent riding bikes, playing at the park, running in the sprinklers, and playing at the pool. Our kids have been growing and developing by leaps and bounds! In the span of one week, Eliza & Judah both learned to ride their bikes without training wheels, and Avigail started walking. Caleb's speech has been taking off too - so many changes!

The biggest thing that I wanted to mention is that after much prayer, Mark and I have made a pretty big decision: We are going to be home-churching! For anyone who may not be familiar with that term, it basically means doing "church" at home. You may be wondering why, and the answer is both simple and complex. The simple answer is that God told us to. The complex answer is that God has used a series of life experiences (in both of us) to guide us, has been gently speaking to us about this topic for years (warming us up to it, I believe), and had given us complete peace about it.

So what does this look like for our family? Shabbat starts on Friday night as it always has, with dinner, candles, and blessings. On Saturday, we get a slow, relaxing start with breakfast and our personal quiet times in preparation for hearing God's word. Then, at 11:30am, we hook up our computer to our tv and stream the entire service live from Beit Tikvah! This is the highlight of our week. :-)  We sing along, pray, and encourage our kids to join in too. When BT breaks for announcements, etc, I get lunch started. Then we sit and listen to the message, and our kids can stay and listen and/or color, or go play. When service is over (around 1:45pm), we have lunch. In the afternoon, we have family time! It's relaxed and centered on God and family.

In addition to our own family Shabbat, we are planning on starting a Saturday evening home Bible study in the weeks to come. We are still trying to figure out the details, but we are going to be going through a program called "Ha Yesod", which is a study of the Jewish roots of Christianity. (For more information, please visit hayesod.org)

Mark and I really believe that God is calling us to step up to the plate, so to speak. We both were heavily involved in ministry for many years before getting married, and when God called us to Beit Tikvah, we knew that it was to be a time of being poured into, a time of growth, and a time of developing a firm foundation for the rest of our lives to be built on. We knew that when we left BT, we were supposed to get back into reaching out to the world around us. Now were here, and we feel called to the area of helping the Christian church to better understand their relationship with God through their roots in their Jewish Messiah.

So if you think of it, pray for us! We still have so much change ahead of us and we want to make sure that we are clearly hearing and following God's voice all along the way!

~ Judy

* By the way, if you have a free Saturday morning, check out Beit Tikvah's service yourself! Go to ustream.com and search for Beit Tikvah. It streams Saturdays at 10:30 PST. Enjoy!

Can I Have a Mulligan?

I remember this computer game my dad and brothers used to play. It was golf on our old Windows 3.1 - a big step up from our Dos system! Anyway, it wasn't the easiest to play, but it had this wonderful feature - the mulligan! My bad shots (swings? strokes? My golf-loving guys could correct me, I'm sure) could be erased with a quick click on the "Mulligan" button. No ding to my score, no lasting effects, no one had to know!

Sometimes I wish life was like that golf game. I wish I could call a "mulligan" and start the day over - or at least start my kids' day over! It would be so nice to erase the bad choices, the negative words, the punitive actions that skew our course and send our day spiraling down.

But alas, life is not a video game, is it? And, making things even harder, my actions consistently affect everyone around me. As the mama, I set the tone for our home. I choose how I react or respond to what goes on around me. And my response to that is what really matters.

In my quiet time this morning, I read through Proverbs 31 - the Biblical description of a woman who fears the Lord. Verse 26 says: "She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

Today has been one of those more challenging days. I haven't had a moment of alone time (I'm writing this while rocking my 2-year-old to sleep for his nap) - even my "quiet" time was accompanied by kids bickering and a baby discontent with everything. And I can't say that I handled it very well either.

So now that I have a moment of relative peace, I am thinking about my morning and the impact that my choices have made. When I'm finished here, I am going to sit down with my big kids and apologize, and ask the Lord for grace to help me live the rest of my day with "the teaching of kindness on my tongue."

What about you? Do you ever wish for a mulligan? How do you restart when your day gets off poorly?

May the Lord grant us grace and strength as we endeavor to raise our little ones for His glory!

~ Judy

Wholehearted Homeschooling

I am so thankful that Mark and I see eye to eye on so much! One of those things is homeschooling. Homeschooling our children has always been our plan - I think we even discussed it before we were married! We had no desire to trust our children's education to someone else, or to send them off to spend the bulk of their time away from us. We want to enjoy our kids to the fullest!

So almost as soon as Eliza was born, I was researching methods and curriculums. I came upon the Charlotte Mason approach, which I really liked, and a curriculum called Heart of Wisdom which used a unit study based 4-year cycle and honored the Biblical Feasts and Hebrew way of thought (vs. Greek).

One of my all-time favorite authors is Sally Clarkson. She has authored many books on motherhood and homeschooling, and her husband Clay wrote the book that was the most instrumental for us in deciding how to parent our children (more on that in a later post). We bought her and Clay's book, Educating the Wholehearted Child, a couple of years ago. I enjoyed it then, but now our first year of homeschooling is coming to a close, and I just reread much of it in preparation for next year. It is such a good book, and so inspiring! They break down the areas of study into these categories:

Discipleship Studies (character and Bible study)
Disciplined Studies (math, reading, writing)
Discussion Studies (literature, history, fine arts)
Discovery Studies (science, creative arts)
Discretionary Studies (additional things important to your child/family)

I really like the way each area of study is explained. Discipleship, Discussion, Discovery - these are words that get to the core of how these subjects are best learned, and makes it easier for me to look at our school plans and keep us on task. Am I encouraging my children in their relationship with HaShem (or just telling them stories)? Are we discussing enough (or just reading)? Are we discovering the world around us (or just doing worksheets)?

I am re-energized and excited about the new school year ahead of us, and can't wait to see how my children (and I) grow in this upcoming year!

~ Judy

Letting Go and Holding On

Although in most ways, we have settled into our new life in Idaho, we miss our friends in Washington something fierce. Before we left, my friend Lindsey decided to plan a road trip to visit us. In my lonely moments over the past month, I have held on by looking forward to her arrival.

For the past week since I last blogged, we have been blessed by their company. Our eight combined children are perfectly staggered at ages 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and <1 and played together fantastically, bringing endless delight to their mamas and making beautiful memories.

Sprinkler time!

Shabbat morning breakfast for 11!

At the zoo!

Now that they've gone, I'm faced with the reality that my life in Washington has come to a close, and it's time to move on. Despite my sadness, it's time to allow myself to get plugged in here, to build relationships, find a doctor, and get an Idaho drivers license!

But at the same time as realizing all of this, I'm also realizing that the relationships I have don't have to end. I know, this sounds ridiculous, but I think there's a part of me that has really feared letting go of my life in Washington because I was afraid of what might happen to those relationships I cherish. Would they remember me after I left? Would they slowly fade away? When it comes down to it, though, I am thankful for the relationships I have built, and have I to trust that they are strong enough to withstand the distance.

So now, I am working on letting go while hanging on. Letting go of the temporal while hanging onto the eternal. And leaning on my Father's arms through it all.

~ Judy

Our One Month Anniversary

Today we celebrate one month in our new home in Idaho! As I reflect on the last month, I'm struck by how much things are the same and different at the same time. The foundations of my life - my relationship with God, my family, our values - are my constant rock. But there are so many little things that are new and different! Trying to get used to a new town, remembering roads and landmarks, finding new resources (doctors, groceries, entertainment, etc.) can feel overwhelming some days! Those days I am especially thankful for the solid family that we have and for the undeniable Word of God that brought us here.

In the book One Thousand Gifts (see my post a couple of days ago), we are challenged to practice gratitude for all those little things that are so often overlooked. So, here are a few "Idaho-Gifts":

Wide open spaces
Blue skies & sunshine
Farmland scenery on every drive
The park behind our house
A more-accessible yard
Eggs from a friend's "backyard" chickens
Raw milk, less expensive
A smaller house to keep clean
Carpet that isn't white!
Everything in closer proximity
Reciprocal zoo membership
Being close to Mark's parents and brother/sister-in-law

Now, on that note, we're headed to Mark's parents to celebrate Memorial Day! Blessings to you.

~ Judy

Life Begins Anew (part three)

Yesterday, I left you behind our big yellow truck as we closed it up just after sunset. We were drained physically, mentally and emotionally. Throughout the day, as it became clear that we wouldn't make it to Idaho before nightfall, we made adjustments to our plans and prepared ourselves for a night of driving. As it happened, I believe it was a huge blessing in disguise.

We packed the kids up into the van and Debbie drove them around the block while Mark and I said our goodbyes to the house that had been our home for the past year and the place where our daughter was born. We went our separate ways inside, and when I got to our bedroom - to the place where A was born - I finally broke down and sobbed. I felt like part of me was dying. It was heart-wrenching sadness and grief. Life was passing so quickly and I was afraid of forgetting all of the precious memories that I held so dear. It's easy to remember when you see the place those memories were made every day. It's much harder when you have to close your eyes and picture everything in your mind.

We finally tore ourselves away. I got into the van with Debbie and we left Mark to put a few things into the cab of the truck and head out. We made it 5 minutes down the road when we got a phone call. It was Mark - he couldn't find the key to the truck! We turned around and headed back. After another 10 minutes of searching by flashlight, Mark broke back into the house to check there. No luck. The key was gone. Thankfully, he called the rental company and they were able to make him a new key right away. He drove up and got it, leaving Debbie and I to rest and relax a bit. When we returned and we finally got on the road for real, it was 11:30pm.

The road trip to Idaho couldn't have gone any smoother, especially considering the conditions! Mark picked up his brother and ran a couple of errands, leaving Seattle at 12:30am and arriving at Mark's parents' at 8:30am. Debbie and I took turns driving, making only one major stop at 3:30am. We fueled up, took the kids to the bathroom, fed them each a peanut butter sandwich, nursed A, and headed back out without incident. The kids slept until 6:30am. It was a perfect car ride, and despite our exhaustion we were able to make it through safely. I really appreciated all of the quiet time to think and process through everything that happened. It was very therapeutic for me (did I just say that?!?), crazy as that sounds!

We arrived at Mark's parents' house at 7:30am, had a delicious breakfast, and crashed on the couch while the kids played with their grandpa. :-) Around noon, we headed out to see our new home for the first time (Mark saw it a couple of weeks prior when he visited and signed the lease).

When we got off the freeway to the road that led to our house, I was speechless. In fact, I almost started to cry - the drive was so beautiful! Farmland all around, wide open spaces, mountains in the distance, blue skies and green pastures. Just stunning! One of the things I had lamented was losing the "green" of Washington - in the Seattle area, there are trees and flowers everywhere you look, and mountains in the distance. Seeing what a beautiful drive I would get to enjoy every day, I felt like God was smiling down on me, assuring me that He loved me and delighted in seeing me happy.

And with that, I'm going to wrap up my little story. Our life has turned in a whole new direction, and we are excited to see what God has in store for us as we continue on this journey!

~ Judy

Life Begins Anew (part two)

So, you know that heavy weight I mentioned? The idea of moving was much harder for me to come to grips with than it was for Mark. After all, he was moving back home, where he still had friends, not to mention his parents and brother/sister-in-law. For me, the thought of starting over was scary and depressing - I had worked for years developing the relationships I had in Washington. For an introvert like me, the thought of doing that again was exhausting - besides, I really liked the friends I already had! But on that Shabbat, Mark said something to a friend that spoke to me heart and gave me the strength to keep pressing on over the weeks to come. He said that the last time he heard God's voice so clearly was when he was in Costa Rica and God told him to change churches (another story for a another time). His obedience to that difficult directive was the main event that made us who we are today. Not only did it bring us to our congregation and the Messianic walk of faith, but through relationships that formed there we learned about attachment parenting, natural birth, and all sorts of other things that have had a big role in our family's formation. Anyway, it occurred to me that just as that act of obedience brought about all of those blessings, this act of obedience would as well.

And so, clinging for dear life into this promise, I began to plan our relocation! Mark found a job - he actually found it the day he had the dream/vision, but interviewed and got it a couple of weeks later. I scoured craigslist for a week in search of a home, and found one. I started a moving journal to keep all of my lists and notes - that little book and I were inseparable for weeks! We stopped doing school so that I could focus on all I had to do. We worked hard to find balance in our lives those last weeks - we knew we needed to get a lot of work done in a short amount of time, but we also had a deep and almost desperate need to spend as much time as possible with our friends we were leaving behind. Plus, we knew that all of the busyness was going to take its toll on our children and we wanted to spend as much time together as a family as possible. So we planned, packed, AND played! We went to Jump Planet, took a ferry ride to get ice cream, and went to the zoo. We savored every Shabbat at BT and celebrated Passover with friends.From the time we received Mark's job offer to our moving day was only three weeks, and wow, did the time pass quickly! We gratefully accepted every offer of help and had several friends come play with our kids or help me pack.

On the ferry!

All too quickly, our last week in Washington was upon us. Our congregation prayed over us and sent us off with a blessing. We spent time with our most cherished friends. We packed up the rest of our stuff and purged a ton. (I love throwing things away, but that's another post too... ;-) Mark's mom came to help us those last few days, which was a godsend! I kept very busy, not really taking any time to process through the intense flood of emotions that I carried with me throughout the days. I wanted to, but I just didn't feel free to - there was so much to be done and I had no idea how we'd pull it off.

On Thursday afternoon, we picked up the truck and started packing it. Our plan was to pack the truck on Thursday and leave Friday morning. Debbie (my mother-in-law) and I worked to do as much as we could, as Mark was still working (albiet, from home). That evening, a couple of men from our congregation and Mark's brother came over to help Mark load up the truck, and it soon became apparent that our truck was too small. So there I was, desperately trying to hold it together, frantically trying to get the last-minute packing and cleaning done, and suddenly faced with the fact that I'm going to have to choose some of my possessions to leave behind at the last minute! I had been praying for the Lord to help me simplify our lives, but this wasn't what I had in mind! :-D We packed until around 11pm when our amazing and selfless friends had to head home and we had to collapse into bed. The lack of space made packing so much harder, and the truck was only half done. We spent our last night in our home on the living room floor, and awoke early to finish the packing.

In the morning, the three of us got off to a slow start due to our frazzled brains from the day before. A friend of mine came around lunchtime and brought with her energy and a fresh perspective that proved invaluable! With her help, we worked the afternoon away, stopping only for our walk-through, at which point all of our belongings were on our front lawn. When she had to leave, it quickly became apparent that we couldn't do the rest of it on our own, so I called a close family friend and her wonderful husband came and helped Mark finally finish the job. We had to leave behind our tv and beautiful tv armoire, a few storage items, our lawn mower, our garage freezer, our sukkah (so sad!), and many other little things. But the job was done. We were packed - everything our family owned was in a big yellow moving truck. We closed that big back door around 9:30pm, after the sun had set on Friday night. What a way to begin Shabbat!

(To be continued...)

Life Begins Anew (part one)

Two and half months ago, my husband received the news that would change our family's life in a major way: he was losing his job. It wasn't a big surprise; his workload had been steadily shrinking for the past year as his company went through structural changes including outsourcing oversees. But the timing of it was very coincidental - the lease on our house was about to be up as well, leaving us completely footloose and fancy-free for the first time in our married life... or at least as much as we could be with four young kids running around!

For years - since shortly after Eliza was born - we've talked about moving to Idaho. We were mostly alone in Seattle, at least as far as family went. Mark had a brother and sister-in-law living there, but that was it. His parents lived in Idaho and mine in Colorado, and the rest of our siblings were scattered around the country from California to Minnesota to Oklahoma. We didn't like raising our children away from their grandparents - we felt like this was depriving them both of something very special and important. Plus, raising four kids is a lot of work, for which we had no help, practically speaking. People weren't designed to raise families as islands - we were made for community and for family!

Anyway, we realized quickly that this opportunity to move was open to us, and began thinking and praying seriously about what we should do. And it wasn't an easy thing to think about! There were so many pros and cons! Despite the fact that we had talked about moving for a good five years, in those years we had built up many relationships that we cherished. The idea of leaving them was heart-wrenching! Plus, we enjoyed the culture of Seattle and what it had to offer in terms of enjoyment and family fun. But the prospect of being close to Mark's parents was very appealing, as well as the slower pace and wide open spaces that Idaho could offer.

About a week into our decision-making process, our rabbi caught wind of our situation (Have I mentioned that we are so blessed to have an amazing rabbi/pastor? But that's another post...) and left the following comment on my Facebook wall:

"Remember, God speaks to us by his Holy Spirit through the word, prayer, people, circumstances, dreams and visions. May you hear a clear word from Him." 

That night we went to bed full of hope and expectation that the Lord would reveal His will for us in due time. In the early morning, Mark had a dream/vision that replayed in his head over and over for the next few hours. In it, we were returning to Washington from Idaho, and encountered some major problems. In his mind, he kept thinking, "We should've stayed in Idaho, we should've stayed in Idaho." The content in the dream was compelling on its own, but the fact that it kept replaying in Mark's mind all morning was even more so. Then, a bit after breakfast, I found out that a couple we know had woken up early and prayed for us, probably right before Mark had his dream. It seemed quite clear that the Lord was speaking to us. So, for the next few days we pondered this.

And I'll be honest, it wasn't this joyful excitement over God's revelation - it was more like a heavy weight, at least for me. Relocating is no easy thing, especially with four kids! And remember how I mentioned how attached we had grown to our life in Washington? That was all I could think about some days. Then, Shabbat came, and with it it further confirmation, through both His Word and people. At this point, we had received God's direction in every way that our rabbi had mentioned, and we knew for certain. We were moving to Idaho.

(To be continued...)

My boys, enjoying a snack on our back deck!