Cultivating a Peaceful, Purposeful Home

Home management is something really important to me. I'm pretty sure I would have completely lost my mind by this point if I wouldn't have picked up these tips along the way.  I originally prepared this material for a La Leche League enrichment meeting, knowing how valuable this sort of advice can be, especially for new moms.  I thought I'd share it here in hopes that it will helps some of you!  Enjoy!

Areas of Home Management:

1. Time - Family Activities, Time Spent Together, and Daily Routine

Managing time is the first major aspect of home management that every mom must learn how to do.  There are so many things that we need to fit into each day or week! Developing a method of managing your time is so important. 

Here are a few ideas:

• Create a family calendar (either physical or digital, whichever works best for you), and use it regularly!  Check it every night before going to bed and look it over at the beginning of each week.  Make sure you and your spouse do this together so that you are on the same page about your schedule.
• Create a written routine.  Or a lot of them!  I have a loose daily routine, a weekly cleaning routine, and a list of extra cleaning jobs that aren't weekly.
• Use a timer to help manage your time in chunks.  If you're like me, you may get carried away with one thing, allowing it to take up way too much time.  Or you may feel overwhelmed with a large project, and breaking it into pieces makes if feel lighter.  Egg timers (or your microwave timer) can be so helpful in many cases!
• Incorporate your kids input into your routine.  Allow them to help design your routine, and keep them posted as to what is going on that day and week. (See This Post)
• Assemble a home management binder.  I started doing this a year ago and love it!  It keeps all of my stuff together - calendar, finances, meal planning, routines, projects, etc.  Type in "home management binder" into Google and you'll get all sorts of great ideas!

2. Food - Meal Planning, Grocery Shopping, and Cooking

I tend to go through seasons in my meal planning and cooking life.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it.  Sometimes I'm a rock star about planning everything out and never forgetting anything, sometimes I go for a week or two on last-minute throw-togethers ("Is spaghetti okay again, guys?")

Here are a few things that help me:

• Have a weekly meal routine.  Each day is assigned a different "genre" of food - for example: soup/bread day, pasta day, rice day, meal salad day, etc..  This takes so much out of the guesswork of creating a meal plan and helps you to incorporate new ideas easily.
• Keep a list of favorite meals that your family enjoys (with page #s to recipes), that way you can quickly make your list rather than thumbing through your shelf full of cookbooks every week.
• Take advantage of your freezer and slow cooker.  I make certain things in bulk (marinara sauce, marinated meat, ice cream... wait, ice cream doesn't count?!), that way when a day goes differently than I planned, I can throw a freezer bag into a bowl of hot water and thaw it in no time.  And I love my slow cooker (or my cast iron dutch oven) for fall and winter days.  Mmmm...
• Try seasonal eating!  By varying your menu by the season, you will enjoy a variety of foods every year, and not get tired of the same thing over and over.  Certain foods just taste better in their proper season, and bonus - you will save money at the store by buying your food in season!

3. Cleaning - Home, Car, Closets, Purse, etc...

As a mom with 4 young kids who I also homeschool, our home is never spotless.  But, I can also honestly say that if I stay on it, I am able to keep our home regularly clean.  Everyone has different solutions that work well for them, so take what works here and leave the rest!

Ideas to help keep your home clean:

• Get rid of clutter!  Seriously, I think I could (and probably will!) write a whole blog or several about decluttering and keeping a simple home.  For now, I will simply say that the less stuff you have, the less you have to keep clean. 
• Take the time to organize.  Another topic I could talk about for hours.  I'm actually one of those nerdy types that loves organizing, but even if you aren't, I still strongly recommend you give it a try, at least for your most hectic spaces.  Keep it simple, and easy to maintain.
• Have a daily cleaning task that stays the same each week.  For example: Monday is laundry, Tuesday is vacuuming, Wednesday is kitchen thorough-cleaning, Thursday is the car/garage, Friday is laundry again.  Something like that, anyway!
• Do a 15-20 minute "sweep" of your home every day.  We do this in the early evening before Mark gets home from work, and I get the kids involved too.  We usually pump up some Newsboys and make it fun.  
• Teach your kids to take some responsibility for their own stuff.  Help them remember to clean up one activity before taking out another.  Teach them to take care of their own laundry and make their beds.  

4. Self Care - Mom must care for herself in order to be able to care for others!

This is such a big deal in our home!  It's easy to spend every moment of the day cleaning and cooking and maintaining - there's always another thing to do, isn't there?!  But if we don't take good care of ourselves, in the end it will all crumble apart.  We serve our children and husband by taking good care of ourselves.

For me, as a major introvert, I get overwhelmed easily by the constant needs and company of my little brood.  The most vital part of my self care is making sure that I get adequate time alone.  But it has taken me a long time to realize just how important this is and learn how to make it a priority.

Here are some other ideas of ways to take care of yourself.  This post (click here) also has a few ideas on hitting the "reset button" on a rough week.

• Develop a morning ritual.  Mine is tea, my gratitude journal, my Bible, and a book (for personal/spiritual growth, not entertainment).  Yours can be whatever helps you most.
• Exercise.  Make sure you don't care for everyone else while neglecting your own body.  This will eventually catch up with you!
• Eat well.  I know, we all fall into the habit of eating whatever we can scrape together in the middle of everything else we're doing.  But with just a bit of planning, you can feed your body what it needs to thrive instead of simply exist.
• Get out!  Go to a mom's night out or even playgroups where the moms can hang out while the kids play.  Both are valuable. Try to go on a date with your husband on a regular basis.  Have tea with a friend at night after the little ones have gone to sleep.  Get up early and hit up a nearby coffee shop before your family arises. 

I hope this post helps you!  Below are a list of links to resources that have really helped me.  I hope they help you as well!  Please leave a comment with any great tips that have helped you to better manage your home!

~ Judy

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Resource List:

Websites:

http://zenhabits.net

http://organizedhome.com

http://simplemom.net

Books:

Smart Organizing, by Sandra Felton

Organized Simplicity, by Tsh Oxenreider

Binder Helps:

http://simplemom.net/downloads/

http://organizedhome.com/household-notebook

As A Man Thinketh

"The aphorism, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he," not only embraces the whole of a man's being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts."

-James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

As I said the other day, I struggle with depression. It's a topic that I've read a lot about and I've spent a lot of time thinking about. I have tried hard to keep it from getting the best of my life. But no matter what I do, it keeps resurfacing.

So the other day, as soon as I felt it creeping back in, I confronted it head-on. I remembered what a huge difference it made for me last time when I finally admitted to my friends that I was struggling. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, and just felt this shift in my mindset - like I was no longer a passive victim, but a fighter, and it had to go! Shortly after that time, I was feeling much better.

Anyway, I've been pondering a lot over the past couple of days. Why do I get depressed? Is this something God has allowed in my life as a lesson to learn? Is it an attack? Is it physical, spiritual, or both? Am I going to struggle with this for the rest of my life?

And as I've been thinking, praying, and meditating on Scripture these past few days, I've felt HaShem impress upon me some important truths. I want to share them with you, and my hope is that someday my openness will be a blessing to someone else struggling with this ugly beast.  I don't have all the answers, but I will share with you what I have!

God is bigger. No matter what I'm facing, He is so much bigger than all of it!

This morning I read the last several chapters of the book of Job. It is HaShem's answer to Job after everything he has been through. Very powerful words, very moving. If you haven't read it recently, do it!

God knows. He sees everything. He knows my heart. He knows my thought processes.

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, ...discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."  -Hebrews 4:12

God's love never fails. It never gives up. He knows all of this, and yet His love doesn't give up or even waver in the slightest.

"For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever."  -Psalm 100:5

God created my mind to have a strong influence over the rest of me. My mind is of utmost importance, and I cannot ignore it.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." -Romans 12:2a

God tells me what to focus my mind on, and His plan for me is abundant life.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  -Philippians 4:8

God does not force His will on me - I must choose it daily.

"Choose this day whom you will serve."  -Joshua 24:15


Finally, to close I want to add one more thing.  It is important to remember that I can go through all the right motions but not truly let Him speak to and change me.  This does more harm than good, tricking myself into thinking I'm doing well, but setting myself up for failure! This is why I believe there is so much power in admitting my challenges. I must be real with myself.

So today, I am choosing to renew my mind with the truth of God's word. I will set my mind on Him, and walk in faith.

"If then, you have been raised with Messiah, seek the things that are above, where Messiah is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."  -Colossians 3:1-2

~ Judy

P.S. If you enjoyed the quote at the top, you can download the entire short book for free off the website, asamanthinketh.net.  It's a good read!

Today We Are Celebrating!

Today in our home we are celebrating something special - the birth of the man who God has given to us as a husband and daddy! 

Mark is one of the most amazing men I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and I feel so blessed to be his wife.  He has integrity, passion, and loyalty.  He is an incredible daddy, who adores his children and really enjoys developing deep relationships with each one of them.  He is a devoted husband, who really tries hard to understand and honor me.  He takes care of my needs, placing them above his own.

I love him dearly and passionately, and I just wanted everyone to know that. 

~ Judy

When the Blues Come Knocking

I struggle with depression. I used to think that it was something that I'd eventually master it, and never struggle anymore, but since then I've realized that's probably not going to be the case. I have a strong family history of depression, and I'm married to someone who struggles with it as well. I used to think it was mostly due to living somewhere that I rarely saw the sun, but now a rarely see clouds and I can still feel it trying to sneak itself in. I used to think that if I just hit a certain point in my walk with the Lord, I'd conquer it, but I'm stronger now than I've ever been and it's still knocking on my door.

I used to be embarrassed to admit to this struggle of mine. Didn't it illuminate some major weakness of mine? Can I really be fit to raise children when I struggle with this? Or to serve HaShem? Can He really use me?  But since then I've realized that just like other things that people struggle with, this is something that the Lord can use to His glory, if I let him.

It's been four months since we moved here to Idaho, and I'm starting to experience the "blues" again. I'm not sure of the cause - maybe homesickness, maybe burnout, maybe loneliness, maybe it's diet-related. Maybe it's not really any of that. I don't know if it really matters.

But I do have a major advantage over the last time I was struggling with depression - a much stronger relationship with my Creator, who is the only one who knows the answer to that question. He knows why this is a struggle of mine and how I can beat it. And He is the source of life - not just physical life, but emotional life as well!

So this morning, I am going to place this struggle into the hands that made me.

"Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."  ~ Psalm 62:8

And instead of placing my focus on this challenge of mine, I'm going to choose to place my focus back on God's word.

"The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul."  ~ Psalm 19:7

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."  ~ Psalm 19:14

I am so thankful that I serve a Maker who loves me and has a plan for me! So for today, I will rejoice in Him and His truth. May He sustain me.

On the Doorposts

Yesterday morning, our family put up our mezuzah. We have had a mezuzah on our front door for several years now, and while I'm used to seeing it, it's impact on me has never faded.

The mezuzah is a small, thin case that holds a tiny scroll of scripture with two passages written on it - Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21. These passages contain the Shema and the verses giving the command for writing/affixing God's Word to our doorposts.

Although we are not Jewish, we chose to keep this commandment out of love for the Lord and respect for His Word. It functions, not as some kind of "amulet", but as a constant reminder of the role of God's Word in our home and lives. When we enter our home, we see the mezuzah, and remember that God reigns in our home and that His Word is above all. We often touch the mezuzah and bring our fingers to our lips, worshipping not the object, but the Creator whose holy Words are written within.
 

Whether or not you choose to affix a mezuzah to your doorposts, I challenge you to find a way to bring honor and attention to the authority of God's Word in your home.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

-Matthew 7:24-27

May we be those who build our homes on the solid foundation of God's Word!

- Judy

Attachment Parenting... and the Bible, Part 1

Today I am going to start an 8-part series on attachment parenting and the Bible. I haven't directly referenced attachment parenting on this blog before now, partly because I don't want it to be the focus of this blog, and partly because I don't like labeling myself as one "type" of parent.  But, nonetheless, attachment-style parenting is really important to me. It has laid a strong loving and godly foundation for our family.

"Wait, godly?" You might be wondering about that claim. Attachment parenting has a reputation for being humanistic and indulgent, not at all things that the Bible supports. But while AP can be applied that way, it isn't that by nature. In fact, the "founder" of attachment parenting, Dr. William Sears, is a Christian father of 8. His books established AP as a legitimate, fact-based parenting method and offered parents some practical ideas for what that meant.  Since then, much more research and many more books have been written about the subject, and an international organization, Attachment Parenting International, has been formed.

In this series, I am going to go through each of Attachment Parenting International's 8 Principles of Parenting and present some biblical support for each, as well as share some of our story. I hope this is a blessing to you!

Principle #1: Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

"Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for healthcare providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible."

There is so much wisdom in this principle. Scripture has a lot to say about gaining understanding, in fact, most of the book of Proverbs is dedicated to the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge.

"Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance."
                                    - Proverbs 1:5

I believe that an important part of being a good steward is educating yourself about what you are stewarding. Remember the parable of the talents? The man who was praised for making more money with his talent needed to first know how to best invest that talent in order for that to happen. We are entrusted with something far more valuable than money - we are entrusted with life! How much more, then, should we study and learn!

God has given us 9 months to prepare for our new babies, and I would challenge you to make the most of that time. Learn about birth options. Learn about infant development. Learn about breastfeeding. And discuss things with your spouse too - learning together is a great way to strengthen your relationship!

For me, this part has always been pretty easy. I'm already a bookworm, and I love learning about babies! But it has been so beneficial for me, especially in the areas of natural birth and infant development. We decided to have unmedicated home births after reading about the dangers and ramifications of managed, hospital births. Learning all we could gave us peace of mind and faith in the body that God has given me.  And learning about infant and child development has helped us to have realistic expectations of what our children are capable of and how their brains best develop.

When studying these things, especially development, you will probably come across books written from a secular worldview.  One of my favorite books is called "The Science of Parenting", and is written from an evolutionary viewpoint.  From what I've seen, sometimes Christians write off these kind of books as non-relevant because they come from a different worldview.  But while we do have to read with more caution, there is usually a huge depth of information in those books - just without the knowledge of God.  Part of being mature as believers means being able to sift through these materials and gain valuable knowledge while skipping over the stuff that doesn't fit your worldview.


I hope that you found this post to be thought-provoking and interesting!  Stay tuned for Part 2: Feed With Love & Respect!

~ Judy

*For a practical list of things to prepare for and read about when getting ready for a baby, please click here: API Principle #1.