My Baby is One!

Watermelon instead of cake for this baby!

Yesterday, my baby girl turned one year old. It is a bittersweet day for me. I am so ecstatically happy that the Lord gave us Avigail - she is such a gift! Her sweet smile and gentle snuggles melt our hearts. Her love for her siblings brings a smile to my face on a constant basis. But her first year has completely flown by, and I am struggling to come to grips with that.  I am finding myself clinging desperately to her babyhood, wishing I could slow time.

She just realized that we're singing to HER!

As parents to small children, it can be very overwhelming at times.  Their needs are intense, and there are so many of them!  Mark and I have often caught ourselves lamenting our lack of freedom, and looking forward (maybe too much) to the days when our children will be able to take care of themselves a bit more.  It has become difficult to appreciate this stage of life for what it is.  But is the problem really the crazy intensity that is our life?  Or is the problem our attitude about it?

She loves it!

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Over the past few months, as we have settled in here and I have had more time to ponder our home and family life, there are some things about this stage that the Lord has really pressed upon me.

First of all, I need to accept each day for what it is, and consider it a blessing.  Every single day, I start my day by writing a few entries into my gratitude journal. By starting out this way, I have found it easier to return to it when I'm struggling later on.  There is so much power in thankfulness!

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" - I Thessalonians 5:18

Second, I need to have realistic expectations for my children.  They are supposed to act like young children - that is what they are!  If the Lord wanted kids to be born mature, He would've created them that way.  But instead, He gives them to us completely dependent - dependent on us to help them walk through the stages of life, to grow and develop.

Third, I need to remember that our children are like plants in a garden - given the right environment, they will grow.  My job is not to try to force growth and maturity on my kids, my job is to foster an environment where growth is encouraged.  That means that I have to be a mature person, and model those character traits that I'd like to see developed in my children.  Of course, those things that they struggle with so much also tend to be the same things that I struggle with, making this step so hard but so necessary!

Lastly, I need to remember that God has given me children to bring me closer to Him.  These daily struggles that I have with how I choose to approach my relationship with my children have the power to deeply change me.  I have blogged about this a bit before (click), but it's such a powerful truth to embrace that I want to mention it again today.  Through our relationships with our children, the Lord can work through sin and struggles in our own lives, bringing us into a closer relationship with Him!

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So, as I embark on my baby's second year of life, it is with a renewed conviction and determination to embrace life as it happens!  I want to soak in every moment of her remaining baby/toddlerhood (ouch, it hurts to see that word "toddler" on the page!), and not just for her, but for each of my children. I want to cherish my children, to enjoy them, to truly love them in a deep way - thankful for the blessings that they are in my life!

With you on the journey,
~ Judy

Getting Through the Dry Times

Internet has a funny way of altering reality, doesn't it?  I enjoy the outlets of social media such as Facebook and blogging, especially now that we've moved and I'm physically away from most of my friends.  It's great being able to stay connected online. But we all have a tendency to present only the best part of ourselves online, don't we?  It's really not reality.  I mean, when is the last time one of your friends posted a photo of their child throwing a tantrum, or of herself crying at the end of a hard day?  This whitewashed view of people's lives around us can cause us to judge our own lives wrongly, and can make us feel inadequate and incapable.  And I am not immune.

This morning, after my quiet time, I sat on the couch trying to figure out what to blog about.  I've been quiet on my blog for a week or so now, and for the past few days I've been thinking about different ideas that I've had for possible posts.  I even posted about my dilemma on Facebook.  And a dear friend gave me some great advice: Just be real.  This morning, as I was pondering my different blog ideas and my friend's advice, I realized that to blog about any other than what I'm about to write would not be real.  So here it goes!

As I was saying, I am not immune to the nuances of internet communication.  I both struggle with judging myself based on other people's cute haircuts, happy kid pictures, and awesome dinners, as well as the temptation to always present myself as put-together, with a happy family.  So today, I want to share about my week - my real week.

Things have been kind of challenging this week, and many evenings I wanted nothing more than to get into Mark's car and drive away for a long time.  We have struggled with a nasty cycle - you know, the one where your children have had a rough week, which makes you feel inadequate and cranky, which makes them feel & behave worse!  Yeah, that's been our week.  For some reason, my 6-year-old, who is normally mature and able to reason very well for her age, has been struggling with a lot of anger and has had several tantrums - one of which was in the grocery store.  Ugh.  My boys have been fighting and hitting/pinching a lot.  And my babe is cutting 4 teeth, and hasn't been sleeping well, leaving both of us extra tired all day long.

And as a result of this, I have been feeling very overwhelmed and inadequate.  I'm having a hard time connecting with them (and therefore not able to give them what they really need to work through these issues).  I've been testy with my dear husband.  It's just been an "Ugh" week that I've been looking forward to seeing the end of.  So, here I am at the end of it.  I'm very thankful for a husband who understands my need for alone time, and has graciously given me an hour this morning to read, pray, think, and hopefully reset.

Now that I've done that, I can honestly say that I feel a lot better, a lot more capable of being the mother that I want and my children need me to be.  I'm giving myself some grace, replenishing my cup with God's word and the encouraging words of a great author, drinking a yummy cup of tea, and taking a deep breath.  My job as a mommy is the highest calling I have.  HaShem has entrusted me with these 4 little lives, and He chose me to be their mother!

Maybe you've had a week like mine, and can relate.  I want to wrap up this post by listing out some things that I can think of to help you in your attempt to reset:

• Give yourself some grace. Remember that ups and downs are normal and even beneficial.  Those down times can teach us a lot too!

• Be thankful.  Keeping a gratitude journal has really helped my maintain a healthy focus and perspective.  I highly recommend it!

• Take some time out.  Go out to coffee by yourself or with a good friend.  Go for a walk/drive.  

• Talk to God.  Be real with Him about how you feel and your thoughts.  He knows them anyway and it can feel really good to voice them!

• Enjoy something beautiful.  Music, art, and poetry have a powerful way of working in us.  You may enjoy creating something as well.

• Find some alone time with each of your children and talk to them.  Apologize.  Apologies are powerful for restoring relationships, and it sets a godly example. Encourage them with things you appreciate about them, and how God wants to see them grow and develop.  

• Go on a date with your husband, and talk things through with him.  Sometimes husbands can be a great source of encouragement and healthy perspective.

• Do something physical.  Sometimes we need to release stress in a physical way, whether that be going for a run, doing some gardening, or lifting weights.

Do you have another way that you reset from a hard week?  Share in the comments!  And now, I'm off to nurse my teething babe!

~ Judy

Being a Servant Mother

Yesterday I wrote a quick note about the challenge that the Lord had placed before me yesterday. I didn't realize it at the time, but the next chapter in "The Mission of Motherhood" is entitled, "The Servant Mother."  This morning, after my prayer and Bible study, I opened up my book to this next chapter and was deeply moved.  I believe that HaShem showed me that little snippet yesterday to prepare my spirit to receive what He wanted to teach me today - so if you haven't read yesterday's post yet, please do that really quick! (Link)

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Today's reading brought tears to my eyes.  As a mom, completely immersed in the routine - and often mundane - tasks of motherhood, I tend to think a lot about the future.  "Someday, my kids will be able to cook/do laundry/clean house for themselves," and "I can't wait until I get to sleep through the night/go out for more than 2 hours alone again" are thoughts I have on a daily basis.  And I will admit, I struggle with resenting all of the time and energy that my children consume with minimal gratitude in return. 

In this all-consuming calling of motherhood, it is vital that we remember why we are doing all of this! 

"When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others.  When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives.  As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to to others as well.  As they watch us extend hospitality, care for others, and pray for them, they learn to make service a part of life.  And as they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well.  Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives."  -Mission of Motherhood, p.66

Just as our Lord, Yeshua served His disciples and followers, we are called to serve the children that He has given to us to disciple!  And this calling is one of infinite importance! But how do we do that?

"What does it mean to practice servant leadership as a mother? I believe it starts out with a choice.  I have to choose to serve Christ by giving my time and energy to my children - not just when I feel like it but when they need me. This means I often must sacrifice my own needs and desires for the purpose of giving my children what they need and modeling for them the depths of Christ's love... Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering - and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment.  It means that, by faith, I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God's will for me to serve my family through them." -Mission of Motherhood, p.66-67

I love how she says, "...and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment."  That's what it's really all about, isn't it?  We struggle with resentment because we wish we were doing something else.  Because we don't embrace that serving our children really is the best thing we could possibly do at any given time.  So hard.  So important.  So life-giving.

Today, this will be my meditation.  As I go about my daily tasks and care for my kiddos, I am going to work to remember that serving them IS the best use of my time at any moment.  Serving them is serving my Lord.

~Judy

A Little Challenge for Today

A short but intensely-powerful challenge for you today:

I like to read inspiring and challenging book as part of my quiet time every morning.  Currently I am re-reading "The Mission of Motherhood" in preparation for the MomHeart group I hope to be starting up soon.  I read chapter three today, entitled "The Undivided Heart," and was reminded of something very important.

When we are mothering our children, we are not only serving them, but we are serving Yeshua!  By being gentle to my children, by being compassionate and empathetic to their needs, and by being present with them throughout their daily trials, I am serving my Lord. At the same time, I am setting an example to them of how the Lord wants us to treat each other, and demonstrating His love for us!  What a powerful act of service!

~ Judy

Getting Started in Homeschooling - A Few Thoughts

I have had a few moms lately who have asked me for advise in getting started homeschooling, so I figured it would make a good blog post.  :-)  So, I'm going to share some of my thoughts with you, and hopefully you'll find this encouraging and informational!  *Disclaimer: I'm mostly speaking from the perspective of a mom who has decided early on to homeschool, and I don't have experience pulling kids out of public school later on.  That adjustment can be a very different experience entirely.*

Homeschooling has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember!  I was blessed to be homeschooled myself from kindergarten through high school graduation (except for a one-year stint in public school).  Some of my earliest memories are reading with my mom and little brothers.  Although there were times I felt very "different" than the neighbour kids, I knew that I was blessed to be home!  And as I grew older, I knew that homeschooling my kids was a non-negotiable.  I was very happy when Mark shared my conviction fully.  Anyway, as a homeschooled kid, and now a homeschooling mama, I think I can share with you a fairly well-rounded perspective on something that I'm pretty passionate about!

First things first - making the decision!  So here's the deal - as valuable and awesome as homeschooling is, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is a big huge decision that you need to spend weeks and months agonizing over.  Because, in most cases, it's just not that big of a deal!  We moms have a tendency to over-think everything - from whether or not we mash up our baby's food to how often we brush our kids' teeth.  Are you interested in homeschooling?  Is your spouse on board?  Then give it a try!  Especially in the early years, you really don't have much - if anything - to lose!  And that leads me right into my next thought...

Commit to taking things a year (and day) at a time!  For many moms, committing to a life of homeschooling is a completely overwhelming thought!  They start pondering things like "How do I teach calculus/chemistry/physics?" "How will I my kids learn music or speech/debate (or those other things that require classmates)?"  Here's the thing - starting homeschooling early on with one child (or even two) is something you ease into.  Homeschooling kindergarten (and other early grades) is a totally different ball game than high school.  And the confidence you will get from teaching your children through elementary school will help see you through the harder parts of high school (which, btw, is totally do-able as well, but that's another post for a later day!).

So, those things said, I'm going to dive into some specifics.  This relates mostly to the early elementary years, since that is where we are right now.

Education Style

One of the first things you'll want to figure out is your education style.  There are many terms that refer to various styles ranging from very structured to very relaxed.  Here are a few of the most commonly used:

     Unschooling - Unschooling refers to any non-structured learning approach that allows children to pursue their own interests with parental support and guidance and lets children learn by being included in the life of adults.
     Montessori / Waldorf - Montessori and Waldorf recognize and respect a child's need for rhythm and order in his daily routine. They recognize that need in different ways. Take toys, for example. Montessori schools use Montessori designed and approved toys which will teach them concepts.  A Waldorf education encourages the child to create his own toys from materials which happen to be at hand. Using the imagination is the child's most important 'work'.
     Living Books / Charlotte Mason - One begins by teaching basic reading, writing and math skills, then exposing children to the best sources of knowledge for all other subjects, taking nature walks, observing wildlife, visiting museums and reading real books for subjects such as geography, history and literature.
     Unit Studies - A unit study involves taking a theme or topic and delving into it deeply over a period of time, integrating language arts, science, social studies, math and fine arts as they apply. All subjects are blended together and studied around a common theme or project.
     Classical - Classical education depends on a three-part process of training the mind. The early years of school are spent in absorbing facts, systematically laying the foundations for advanced study. In the middle grades, students learn to think through arguments. In the high school years, they learn to express themselves. This classical pattern is called the trivium.
    All-inclusive Curriculum - Textbook curricula have graded textbooks in each subject and follow a scope and sequence that covers each subject in daily increments for a 12-year, 180-days-a-year academic program.

I have found this website: http://www.homeschoolreviews.com to be a priceless resource for learning about different curricula!

I'm not going to tell you which approach I think is *best*, because that really depends primarily on you and your children!  If you and your kids need more structure, do that; if you do better on more freedom, do that!  Don't let anyone else make you feel inferior because you take a different approach than they do.  And again, don't forget that homeschooling is a constantly-changing, fluid part of a relationship you have with your children, and as such, don't be afraid to adjust it with your kids as you go about your studies!

But to get started out, pick an approach that you feel best reflects your style and goals for the next school year, and go from there, okay?  :-D

Our Approach - What Works For Us

Okay, so all that said, I know that some people may wonder what we use, and why, so I will share that too!

First, some quick background.  We have two kids who will be in school this next year - Eliza and Judah.  Eliza will be 6 1/2, and in first grade.  Judah will be 5 and in kindergarten.  But although they are only one grade apart from each other, academically they are very different!  Eliza learned to read before she turned 4, and now reads around a 4th grade reading level.  She does 2nd grade math and writes well, and has a pretty long attention span.  Judah has a much shorter attention span and is just starting to learn phonics and numbers.  That said, I am still trying to keep them together for as many subjects as possible, for the sake of family togetherness and my own sanity!  :-)

So, here's my take on the early years of homeschooling:  The goal for the first 2-3 years is to establish a love for learning and a foundation to build upon for the rest of the child's school career.  By nature, this has to be very individualized, because that works out differently for each child.  For Eliza, that meant that I had to be careful not to hold her back, and to keep things interesting.  Last year (kindergarten), we had to completely change gears after the first trimester because neither of us were enjoying ourselves!  For Judah, this means that I have to be careful not to push him too hard or put my experiences with Eliza onto him, because he is a totally different person with his own needs and personality.

Our approach is rather "eclectic" - I have realized that although I love the ideas behind the less-structured methods, I need more structure than that myself, especially having four kids.  But I can't have too much either, or I drive myself nuts!  So I have to find a happy balance, which is sometimes challenging!  I lean mostly towards the "living books" approach, using the library a ton.  For Eliza, with her level of reading where it is, we have chosen to do American Girl studies for kindergarten and 1st grade.  We spend 6 weeks with each historical character, reading through the 6 books as well as the "Welcome to *A.Girl*'s World" book that AG published.  We make lapbooks for each girl, which is how much of her writing practice happens.  Through this, we cover reading, writing, history, culture, and art.  For science, we just use the library for topics they choose (this will change in 2nd grade).  For math, I love the Singapore Primary Mathmatics series!  Eliza really likes them too, and is learning a lot.  She's currently in the middle of 2nd grade for math.  For Judah, kindergarten will be mostly phonics and math, with read-alouds for other topics (the world around us) of his interest.  He'll use Singapore Math as well, and we were given the K12 Phonicsworks program which we like.  (I've heard really good things about Explode the Code as well, but K12 is all I've used)  Like I said before, kindergarten is kind of a "warm-up" year - with the biggest goal to establish a foundation and love of learning, so all that really matters to me is that he makes progress in reading and math, and that he enjoys learning about whatever else he's interested in!

Subjects We Study:
     Kindergarten - character/Bible, phonics/reading,  intro writing, math, the world around us (nature & culture), art/music
     1st Grade - character/Bible, phonics/reading, writing, math, nature & culture, art/music

*As a side note, for preschool, I love this guide from SimplyCharlotteMason.com: http://simplycharlottemason.com/planning/eyguide/  Although I didn't follow it exactly, I think it lays a great foundation to build off of!

Getting Started

So, if you're just getting started, here's what I recommend.  Read about different approaches to home education, and discuss them with your spouse.  Get an idea of what you think will work for you and your family.  Research the curriculum options for the basic topics and pick something to get started with.  Don't go overboard!  Then, a few months into your first year, take a really honest assessment.  Are your kids learning?  Are they enjoying learning?  Are you enjoying teaching?  Is there anything that needs to be adjusted?  Readjust, and continue.  Take it a day at at time, a week at a time, a month at a time, and always be open to changing and adjusting.  The journey can be challenging at times, but it is so worth it!

~ Judy

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Our Future Plans

As a major planner, I am actually a total nerd about researching homeschooling curriculum and ideas, and as such, I've drafted out my plans for the rest of our homeschooling career!  So, in case you were curious, here's what's been floating around in my mind. (And if the idea of planning this far out totally freaks out out, please feel free to skip it - I won't be hurt!)


2nd - 6th Grade - the subjects above shift into character/Bible, language arts (grammar, writing, spelling, vocab, reading), math, science, history, geography, art, music, foreign language intro.  My plan for the elementary years is to work chronologically through history using Truthquest History (a Christian history curriculum, but there are great secular ones as well), and incorporate our language arts studies into history like we are now with the American Girl studies, as well as art and music history.  We'll continue using Singapore Math through 6th grade-level unless it no longer meets our needs.  We'll be using Apologia science (also Christian/creationist) which also uses the holistic Charlotte Mason approach.

7th - 12th Grade - literature, math, science, social studies, foreign language, electives of choice.  My plan for the secondary years is to work chronologically through history again using Truthquest History and incorporate literature, art and music history.  We'll probably switch to Teaching Textbooks for math, which I've heard is the best homeschool math program around, and since math is *not* my strong point, I need a curriculum that will teach my kids for me.  (Maybe I'll go through it with them, lol!)  We'll continue using Apologia science for middle/high school, and probably Rosetta Stone for foreign language. **I will also have them studying at a deep enough level to take CLEP test to earn concurrent college credit as we go through the relating topics in 9th-12th grades.  Our goal is for our kids to have at least their associates, but hopefully bachelor's degree by the time they graduate.**

Interested in the Jewish Roots of Your Faith?

Have you ever wondered about the Jewish roots of Christianity?  Are you interested in learning about the land, people, and culture of ancient Israel - the land that Jesus came to over 2000 years ago?  Do you wonder what relevance it has to your life today?

We are super excited to be starting up an in-depth, well-researched Bible study about our Jewish roots!  It is called HaYesod, which means "The Foundation." From www.hayesod.org:

"The HaYesod discipleship program attempts to educate believers on their relationship with the Promised Land, the historic people of God, and the Scriptures of the Jewish people. Knowing the Jewish foundation of Christianity deepens the faith of the believer, clarifies the meaning of the Bible, and reveals God's purpose for all of His people."

HaYesod will run for 10 weeks, beginning Saturday evening, September 8th.  It is open to believers from all backgrounds, and will be located at our home in Meridian, Idaho.  Families are welcome!  Cost is $35/single or $60/couple and includes a gorgeous, in-depth (3/4" thick!) student workbook for each registered student.

Watch the video preview below, and if you'd like a longer preview, click here!

After watching, if you are interested in signing up, please contact me at judyrich04{at}gmail{dot}com.  Thanks!!

Character - Deepened By Motherhood

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how much the Lord has changed me and developed my character through each of my children. When I think about how many character flaws on my life have been exposed through the constant companionship of my kids, I am humbled and (dare I admit it?) embarrassed.

Before we get married, we all have someone tell us about how our spouse will expose things in us that we didn't know were there, and that if handled well, it will strengthen our character. The same thing is true of our children, and even more so! I know for me at least, my kids are with me pretty much 24/7 except for occasional times of solitude. I sleep next to my youngest, educate my 2 oldest, run errands with then in tow - they are my constant companions!  Anyway, that also means they have the constant ability to grate my nerves, test my patience and resolve, and push my buttons! 

But through them, I have wrestled through many personal issues, and I believe, come out on the other side with deepened character and integrity. And it's still an ongoing act of refining - every day I must choose to allow the Lord to use these interactions with my children to change me and mold me into a better likeness of Him.

My challenge to you today is this: next time your child(ren) is pushing your buttons or grating on your nerves, take a moment to breathe and allow the Lord to grow in you patience, sympathy, gentleness, mercy, self-control, empathy, or whatever it is that you are struggling with. And then, thank Him for the blessing of the opportunity for growth that your children bring you!

Blessings on your journey,
~ Judy

Mom Heart Group - Coming Soon!

One of the biggest things that I believe HaShem is calling me to is to start a Bible study for like-minded moms in my area.  I have been blessed beyond words by the ministry of Clay and Sally Clarkson, and am so very happy to be starting a local Mom Heart group here in the Treasure Valley!  Mom Heart was started by Sally as a way to help mothers "to restore moms’ hearts to God’s heart for motherhood."

My desire is to build a community of support for Christian mothers from around the area who have a passion for Biblical, heartfelt, gentle mothering. We will be non-denominational and open to mothers of children of all ages. Our meetings will include prayer, book & Bible study, and fellowship!

The first book we study will be The Mission of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson (available in print and Kindle).

"Today's culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother's role. By catching a vision of God's original design and allowing it to shape their lives, mothers can rediscover the joy and fulfilment to be found in the strategic role to which God has called them - for a purpose far greater than they can imagine.

In The Mission of Motherhood, author, speaker, and mother Sally Clarkson closely examines this God-ordained plan for mothers, introduced in the book of Genesis and upheld throughout his Word. Using practical examples, her own personal anecdotes, a challenging vision, and sound scriptural support, Clarkson upholds the traditional, biblical view of God's plan for motherhood - giving mothers exactly the support they need to persevere in cultivating and sharing their hearts for God, for their children, and for their homes." (from book cover)

If you are in the Boise area, and are interested in joining Mom Heart, please click on this link for a few more details and my contact info! (Mom Heart Page)

If you are not in the area, I would covet your prayers that I would be a vessel worthy and able to be a blessing to the women HaShem brings into my life!

~Judy