What Does Routine With Kids Look Like?

In my last blog, I wrote about how I'm focusing on 4 priorities in our lives right now.  They are:

  1.  Foster an environment for our family that is God-centered, peaceful, and joyful.
  2.  Develop and implement a routine for myself and our children, and support Mark in his own routine.
  3.  Develop local relationships!
  4.  Finish my associate's degree
 
 Today I want to chat about #2 - Routine.

I believe routine is critically important raising kids!  Without a semi-predictable routine, it's very hard for kids to feel settled.  I mean, if you think about it, we have access to our calendars, we make the plans, and we know every day what is planned for the next day.  For the most part, we are in charge of our lives and our kids just do whatever is on the docket for each day.  When the day's plans change frequently, or when every day is different than the one before, it is very hard for kids to feel like they have any kind of control over their lives.

When planning out a routine for children, there are a few key things that I think are important to keep in mind.  First of all, the routine should be simple and age-appropriate!  If I tried to get my kids to stick to a complicated routine that involved a lot of things that they can't do yet, the routine will fail.  Second, a routine should be flexible.  Clinging to tight to a ridged routine will make everybody stressed and trapped. On the flip side, having a healthy structure will feel freeing (just like a good budget, but that's another post!).  Last, a routine should be easy for children to understand.  The more simple the routine, the easier it will be to understand, but it can also be conveyed in ways that help kids understand (for example, with pictures instead of words for non-readers and as few words as possible).

If you're feeling inspired to work on a routine for your children, here are some examples of some ways we've incorporated routines in the past.

 This was the first routine chart we made with Eliza when she was 2 1/2! We took photos of her doing each of these things, printed/laminated it, and kept it on the refrigerator. She loved it!

 

I made this one to help Eliza and Judah become more independent with their bedtime routine.  They can flip each card over when they're done, which is fun!

 

This is Eliza's waking routine.  I give her a new one each week and she checks off each thing as she completes it.  Pretty basic, but she likes the step of checking things off.  :-)

 

I just made this yesterday, and I'm pretty excited about it!  It helps teach the kids the days of the week and rhythm of the days, as well as gives them an idea of what to expect that week. Thanks to my friend Jenn for the idea!

Lastly, this is the new routine that the kids and I wrote up (planning on doing a pictorial chart on the wall):

- Wake up, get ready (Eliza's waking routine, boys just get dressed)

- Breakfast together

- Devotions with kids (mine are done before breakfast)

- School time with Eliza (both kids in the fall)

- Playtime

- Lunch together 

- Naps for Caleb & Avigail

- School time (if more time is needed to finish)

- Playtime

- Dinner together

- Family time (we're trying to do walks/bike rides in the summer)

- Bedtime routine & Bedtime

Is establishing routine hard for you?  Easy?  What kinds of things do you incorporate into your routine?

Have a wonderful weekend!

~ Judy

Uncomplicating My Life a Bit

After a wonderful date with my beloved hubby last night, I took some time to re-assess my priorities.  I tend to over-complicate my life with massive to-do lists, projects that I take on without considering the ramifications, and unrealistic expectations for myself and others around me.

So I decided to figure out what my top priorities are right now, and put the rest in a "closet" for the time being.  Here's what I've come up with:

Top Priorities:

  1.  Foster an environment for our family that is God-centered, peaceful, and joyful.

I'm going to do this by praying with my children daily, focusing on maintaining a right attitude in myself throughout the day, and modelling godliness for my children.

  2.  Develop and implement a routine for myself and our children, and support Mark in his own routine.

To do this, I'm going to create a routine chart for my kids (and stick by it!).  Major focuses will be our start-of-the-day routines, focusing on school when we're doing it, and getting to bed on time.

  3.  Develop local relationships!

This might be challenging (especially for my introverted self), but we're going to do our best to reach out and meet people.  I will hopefully be able to get our Mom Heart group started up soon (if you live locally, please contact me if your interested!), and we will be starting a weekly HaYesod group to study the foundations of the Christian faith on September 8th (again, if you're interested, let me know!).  I'm also going to connect with a local homeschooling group as well as La Leche League.

  4.  Finish my associate's degree

I will be taking CLEP tests in US History, Sociology, and Human Growth/Development over the next couple of months, as well as probably enrolling for a science course at BSU.  I'm planning to graduate in May 2013.

I think the hardest thing about all of this is all of the things that I have to put away in the "closet" for the time being.  I have so many goals that I am working towards that I need to set aside in order to make this happen.  It's so hard to admit to myself that I can't do everything, but I know that it is for the best.  Hopefully in a few months, I will be able to dig a few of those long-term goals out of the closet again and tell you about them!

~ Judy

Home-Churching & Leadership

Although my blogging has slowed down a bit lately, our lives sure haven't! We have had a wonderful summer so far - filled with gorgeous sunny days spent riding bikes, playing at the park, running in the sprinklers, and playing at the pool. Our kids have been growing and developing by leaps and bounds! In the span of one week, Eliza & Judah both learned to ride their bikes without training wheels, and Avigail started walking. Caleb's speech has been taking off too - so many changes!

The biggest thing that I wanted to mention is that after much prayer, Mark and I have made a pretty big decision: We are going to be home-churching! For anyone who may not be familiar with that term, it basically means doing "church" at home. You may be wondering why, and the answer is both simple and complex. The simple answer is that God told us to. The complex answer is that God has used a series of life experiences (in both of us) to guide us, has been gently speaking to us about this topic for years (warming us up to it, I believe), and had given us complete peace about it.

So what does this look like for our family? Shabbat starts on Friday night as it always has, with dinner, candles, and blessings. On Saturday, we get a slow, relaxing start with breakfast and our personal quiet times in preparation for hearing God's word. Then, at 11:30am, we hook up our computer to our tv and stream the entire service live from Beit Tikvah! This is the highlight of our week. :-)  We sing along, pray, and encourage our kids to join in too. When BT breaks for announcements, etc, I get lunch started. Then we sit and listen to the message, and our kids can stay and listen and/or color, or go play. When service is over (around 1:45pm), we have lunch. In the afternoon, we have family time! It's relaxed and centered on God and family.

In addition to our own family Shabbat, we are planning on starting a Saturday evening home Bible study in the weeks to come. We are still trying to figure out the details, but we are going to be going through a program called "Ha Yesod", which is a study of the Jewish roots of Christianity. (For more information, please visit hayesod.org)

Mark and I really believe that God is calling us to step up to the plate, so to speak. We both were heavily involved in ministry for many years before getting married, and when God called us to Beit Tikvah, we knew that it was to be a time of being poured into, a time of growth, and a time of developing a firm foundation for the rest of our lives to be built on. We knew that when we left BT, we were supposed to get back into reaching out to the world around us. Now were here, and we feel called to the area of helping the Christian church to better understand their relationship with God through their roots in their Jewish Messiah.

So if you think of it, pray for us! We still have so much change ahead of us and we want to make sure that we are clearly hearing and following God's voice all along the way!

~ Judy

* By the way, if you have a free Saturday morning, check out Beit Tikvah's service yourself! Go to ustream.com and search for Beit Tikvah. It streams Saturdays at 10:30 PST. Enjoy!

Our God Is For Us

For the past few weeks, I have been listening to Kari Jobe during my morning quiet time. Although I like all of the songs in the album, the last one really ministers to me. As a busy mom, I sometimes feel alone - like no one quite "gets" me, and all the emotions and challenges that I face. When this song starts to play, it feels like a soothing salve to my spirit and I just sit quietly and let HaShem minister to me. Anyway, I figured I'd share it this morning, and if the lyrics minister to you, go hit up amazon and buy the mp3!

So faithful - So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all You do

So patient - So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all You do

You fill me - You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me
I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who You are

- You Are For Me, by Kari Jobe

Can I Have a Mulligan?

I remember this computer game my dad and brothers used to play. It was golf on our old Windows 3.1 - a big step up from our Dos system! Anyway, it wasn't the easiest to play, but it had this wonderful feature - the mulligan! My bad shots (swings? strokes? My golf-loving guys could correct me, I'm sure) could be erased with a quick click on the "Mulligan" button. No ding to my score, no lasting effects, no one had to know!

Sometimes I wish life was like that golf game. I wish I could call a "mulligan" and start the day over - or at least start my kids' day over! It would be so nice to erase the bad choices, the negative words, the punitive actions that skew our course and send our day spiraling down.

But alas, life is not a video game, is it? And, making things even harder, my actions consistently affect everyone around me. As the mama, I set the tone for our home. I choose how I react or respond to what goes on around me. And my response to that is what really matters.

In my quiet time this morning, I read through Proverbs 31 - the Biblical description of a woman who fears the Lord. Verse 26 says: "She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

Today has been one of those more challenging days. I haven't had a moment of alone time (I'm writing this while rocking my 2-year-old to sleep for his nap) - even my "quiet" time was accompanied by kids bickering and a baby discontent with everything. And I can't say that I handled it very well either.

So now that I have a moment of relative peace, I am thinking about my morning and the impact that my choices have made. When I'm finished here, I am going to sit down with my big kids and apologize, and ask the Lord for grace to help me live the rest of my day with "the teaching of kindness on my tongue."

What about you? Do you ever wish for a mulligan? How do you restart when your day gets off poorly?

May the Lord grant us grace and strength as we endeavor to raise our little ones for His glory!

~ Judy

Wholehearted Homeschooling

I am so thankful that Mark and I see eye to eye on so much! One of those things is homeschooling. Homeschooling our children has always been our plan - I think we even discussed it before we were married! We had no desire to trust our children's education to someone else, or to send them off to spend the bulk of their time away from us. We want to enjoy our kids to the fullest!

So almost as soon as Eliza was born, I was researching methods and curriculums. I came upon the Charlotte Mason approach, which I really liked, and a curriculum called Heart of Wisdom which used a unit study based 4-year cycle and honored the Biblical Feasts and Hebrew way of thought (vs. Greek).

One of my all-time favorite authors is Sally Clarkson. She has authored many books on motherhood and homeschooling, and her husband Clay wrote the book that was the most instrumental for us in deciding how to parent our children (more on that in a later post). We bought her and Clay's book, Educating the Wholehearted Child, a couple of years ago. I enjoyed it then, but now our first year of homeschooling is coming to a close, and I just reread much of it in preparation for next year. It is such a good book, and so inspiring! They break down the areas of study into these categories:

Discipleship Studies (character and Bible study)
Disciplined Studies (math, reading, writing)
Discussion Studies (literature, history, fine arts)
Discovery Studies (science, creative arts)
Discretionary Studies (additional things important to your child/family)

I really like the way each area of study is explained. Discipleship, Discussion, Discovery - these are words that get to the core of how these subjects are best learned, and makes it easier for me to look at our school plans and keep us on task. Am I encouraging my children in their relationship with HaShem (or just telling them stories)? Are we discussing enough (or just reading)? Are we discovering the world around us (or just doing worksheets)?

I am re-energized and excited about the new school year ahead of us, and can't wait to see how my children (and I) grow in this upcoming year!

~ Judy

Free To Be Me

I was chatting with my friend last week about how things have changed for me since moving here. Prior to our move, I had lived in Washington for 9 1/2 years. It is where I feel I really became an adult, where I got married, and where I became a mother. I developed a lot of my self-identity in those things, as well as things that went along with them, such as being a home-birther (and childbirth educator), lactation advocate and peer educator, and an attachment parent.

And while these things are still really important to me, I also feel like there's a part of me that has woken up since being here. It's the part of me that is just Judy. There's such freedom in not knowing anyone and getting to start over. I get to decide who I want to be without any outside influence. I don't really have any social life, which frees me up to focus on my relationships with HaShem and my family.

And that is what I've been doing. Reinventing myself. Being who I want to be. Figuring out what is important to me and making those things my focus. Praying more about everything. Cherishing the life that I have been given - it is a gift!

~ Judy

Letting Go and Holding On

Although in most ways, we have settled into our new life in Idaho, we miss our friends in Washington something fierce. Before we left, my friend Lindsey decided to plan a road trip to visit us. In my lonely moments over the past month, I have held on by looking forward to her arrival.

For the past week since I last blogged, we have been blessed by their company. Our eight combined children are perfectly staggered at ages 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and <1 and played together fantastically, bringing endless delight to their mamas and making beautiful memories.

Sprinkler time!

Shabbat morning breakfast for 11!

At the zoo!

Now that they've gone, I'm faced with the reality that my life in Washington has come to a close, and it's time to move on. Despite my sadness, it's time to allow myself to get plugged in here, to build relationships, find a doctor, and get an Idaho drivers license!

But at the same time as realizing all of this, I'm also realizing that the relationships I have don't have to end. I know, this sounds ridiculous, but I think there's a part of me that has really feared letting go of my life in Washington because I was afraid of what might happen to those relationships I cherish. Would they remember me after I left? Would they slowly fade away? When it comes down to it, though, I am thankful for the relationships I have built, and have I to trust that they are strong enough to withstand the distance.

So now, I am working on letting go while hanging on. Letting go of the temporal while hanging onto the eternal. And leaning on my Father's arms through it all.

~ Judy